Warning. Long post. I mean Borepatchian in it's length and wordiness if not in it's intelligence or potential impact on any of our lives or understanding. There's quite a bit of very bad language. FYI.
I'm sure this will fall on deaf ears at the very highest echelons of the Republican Party (not that any of them will ever read it) but in the interest of leaving no stones unturned I'm going to make a few suggestions and observations. This is addressed to the party elite. Those who imagine they are driving the party and making the decisions on platform, candidates, positions and strategy. By the way, if that description fits you, you are in for a very rude wake up. You may have been such pre-election but no longer. We The People are about to make our displeasure known and start taking things over if you don't pull your heads out of your collective asses.
Here we go, my list of Helpful Hints, Tips, Observations and Criticisms for the Republican Party.
- First of all Don't Panic. The foundation is still solid. It's just that someone built a house out of mud, used Kleenex and damp reeds on it. Worse still, a bunch of hippies moved in there and have been trashing up the place. The real problem is the hippies have been chipping away at that concrete foundation, as damn hippies are wont to do when high or bored, and by now they've caused some real damage. It's serious but not fatal. But first you must get rid of them. You can't call Eric Cartman to come build a hippie digger so you can Slay them with Death Metal because he's just a cartoon character and this is the realest of real life. You are going to have to cowboy the hell up and go kill or run the little bastards off yourself and then repair that foundation. Start by remembering just what goes into the foundation concrete because it's a very special mix; Maximum Personal Liberty, Minimum Government Interference, Low Taxes, National Defense, Defense of the Constitution and a Constitutional Form of Government, Respect for Life and the Pursuit of Whatever Makes Us Happy. That's about it. Oh, we can argue about some of the additives we want to throw in to make it harder or softer or add some texture but those essentials will create the foundation you, we and the country needs.
- Take care of your base first. If you can't even match McCain's turnout you need to review both how you conduct business and who you're putting on the ticket. Take a little of that 800 million dollars you spent on this presidential election and hire someone competent to run your GOTV program. ORCA was a disastrous failure and you had best recognize that toot sweet. Here's a thought, try to hire away a few of those democrats who have been steady kicking your ass for the past few years. You can work on growing the party after the base has been welcomed back into the fold. If you continue to miss this point you will continue to fail the American people and guarantee both a third party and the virtual end of a conservative voice in modern American politics for at least a generation. Then your party will be as dead as the Whigs and we all lose. Right now your base is disillusioned, tired and at home. That's a hint right there. But here's the good part. If you do this well and competently (get used to that word, you'll be seeing it a lot) you will actually grow your base and make them excited to contribute, volunteer and vote. Isn't that so much better than losing? Anyone can lose, even closely. It takes will and hard work to win and I'm tired of losing. There's another hint because baby, I am your base. You didn't lose by much, which makes your failures in this regard all the more infuriating. Get off your asses and get back in the fight. You're really pissing us off you bunch of half witted, miserable excuses for conservative leadership. Lead, follow or piss off. There is no try. Not anymore and Never Again.
- In that vein Carl Rove needs to be insincerely thanked for his contributions and shown the door. The only people who think he's a genius are the gullible and the foolish. He isn't and never was. Bush ran against people who were even more incompetent than you are but that has changed. They won't vote for the douchebag just because he's an R anymore. Please comprehend that. The modern Democrat party is flexible, motivated, smart, staffed by true believers and the competent and well funded. Take the hint. Rove has done more to stain your party image and alienate your base than anyone else in the history of the GOP. He needs to be told his contributions are no longer required and will no longer be accepted. Thank you for your efforts Carl. Don't let the door hit you in the ass on your way out.
- The media are not your friends and that includes Fox. Never have been, never will be. Accept that and move on. If you want to be a TV or movie star drop the hell out of politics and take acting classes. If Sean Hannity is the public face of your party you have deeper problems than you realize. Treat them, all of them, as the enemies they are. If they're not poisoning the well they're bad mouthing you. You cannot grow the brand by relying on shills to speak for you or the msm to treat you fairly. It's called being media savvy and you suck at it. Badly. Here's a thought. Put your best and brightest out there for public consumption and tell the mouth breathers and booger eaters to stay home and practice counting past ten. Look outside the box. Hell, buy Gore's network and turn it into Conservative TV. You'd also get the benefit of chapping his ass, almost enough in and of itself to make the effort worthwhile.
- No matter your personal or religious views, Rape is always a horrifically bad thing. Always.
Repeat after me;
"Rape is very, very bad. I support the death penalty for all cases of forcible rape. Women should have the option of terminating immediately any real or potential pregnancy resulting from such a horrendous crime. We champion health care and support for all rape victims. We are the party that cares about all crime victims and personal and religious views do not and will not enter into the discussion except as they speak to compassion and defense of the weak and the innocent."
Immediately withdraw support for any candidate who's views differ from that basic stance and denounce them in strong and unequivocal language, no matter how 'elite' they are or how powerful and electable you imagine them to be. Anyone who says anything different should be kicked out of the party post haste and damn the immediate perceived political consequences. For fuck's sake I'm strongly and unapologetically pro life and even I'm offended by the things your candidates vomit out with depressing regularity.
As a police officer I investigated a depressingly large number of rape cases in my career and tried to help those victims pick up the pieces of their shattered lives. I've cried with them and talked with them and comforted them. And then put their attackers the fuck in prison. Shattered Fucking Lives. Write that down someplace where you won't lose it. I've seen what sexual crimes do to the families of the people I was sworn and glad to serve. Kiddies, I know what I'm talking about here. And yet some of your bought and paid for politicians managed to insult even me with all that outrageous crap, waffling and ignorance and I'm practically uninsultable. With nary a peep from the Republican establishment other than a tepid refutation of their words. Not the candidate himself, Oh no no no we can't do that, we may lose an election. We'll decry his words instead. Romney never dropped his endorsements and that's a moral failure on his part. One I'd love to talk with him about sometime. That is absolutely unacceptable in a civil society, not to mention a party that imagines itself as the Law and Order party. Give me a break. This isn't complex or difficult or even open to discussion or argument. Yet you still manage to screw up something so black and white. If you can't get something this simple down then there's very little I or anyone else can do for you. It's not an Issue, it's a crime of violence and the victims should be comforted, supported and aided in every way that we can. Period. Fucking. Dot. Don't screw with me or doubt me on this. Get it straight and correct it immediately because it's not a political failure, it's a systemic moral one and if you think the American people don't notice or care you are badly mistaken.
- Don't surrender on illegal immigration. At the same time do try and avoid self immolation. Develop a real, workable and common sense approach to the issue. One that includes all parties who are or may be affected. I suggest an attempt at consensus building. While I normally eschew any such as an attempted exercise in buck passing, self deportation is probably not a realistic approach so Something Else is called for. Control of the border is both desirable and essential as is the deportation of those breaking our laws. Now develop a strong policy and a message that shows you both understand the issues extant and have a clue on how to proceed. Try talking to Marco Rubio and Rick Perry as a start then add in stakeholders as you go. Before you know it you'll have developed a common sense approach to immigration policy and be ready to defend yourself from claims that you are both heartless and trying to pander to the Latino vote. See how easy that is? If you continue to abjectly fail at this both sides will continue to beat you to death with your own ill defined plank. This is an issue you should have owned long ago. Right is on our side on this. For crying out loud a majority of legal Latino immigrants and citizens support some form of border control and deportation of illegals! Sheesh. It's not rocket science. Quadratic equations will not be on the final test. You can do better without looking like you're both clueless and hiding evil intentions.
- Words have meaning, make sure you choose yours wisely. Stop saying stupid things. It makes us all look bad and we really, really hate that. Right now you have absolute idiots saying obscene and laughable things in very public places in your name. People remember that and when the Democrats tell them that you're all exactly like those fools they tend to believe them. The Republican party, it's candidates and it's apparatus are the Democratic party's best weapons against Republicans. Hell, they love you guys which makes me wonder how many of you are secretly on their payroll. I mean no one can be that stupid that often. Can they? Let me help you out here. Identify your losers, your morons and your traitors and get rid of them ASAP. Here's another hint. See the above lecture on rape, start with Mourdock and Akins and go from there. It won't be hard to identify them at all. Pretty much just run your finger down a Republican list of staffers and candidates and you'll be well on your way.
- Images are long lasting and the Internet is forever. If your party employs or supports people who think cartoons of the sitting African American President as a monkey or the White House lawn as a watermelon patch are funny and appropriate you're going to have unending problems convincing the voting public you are not in fact a racist organization. I know you're not (I've been one of you for a while now) but others may well be reasonably uncertain as to your bonafides. The opposition will again beat you to death with this forever if you continue to fail. You are also not doing your minority members any favors by not acting to address these problems. They're being attacked daily from all sides and called every sort of vile name you can imagine while trying desperately to defend the indefensible and that is absolutely your fault. They've got the weapons to fight back with, now how about providing them a little ammunition? You can take the racist arrow from the liberal's quiver if you'll only give the house cleaning just a little real effort. Yes, we'll always be called racist but without real incidents to point to the general public will gradually get the idea that the media and the Democrats (but I repeat myself) are the liars they really are. That is a goodness thing. Here's another hint. If they have racist tendencies, and especially if they have shown racist tendencies, they need to be stripped of party affiliations and support. Loudly and publicly. Yes, it may hurt in the short run but the long term benefits will vastly outweigh that. It's a long war kids, time to recognize that and act accordingly. You do not need those people and it's well past time for you to figure that out.
- Women vote. Minorities vote. Gays vote. (Insert affiliation here) vote. You imagine yourselves as a big tent party, and I believe you are, I really do. But you need to do a better job of convincing the general populace that you are truly inclusive. There are an awful lot of conservatives out there from all sectors of the population who are just itching to get into the fight. Invite them to do so and then support them when they jump into the fray. Give Bobby Jindal a call sometime. Then try Bruce Carroll. At the same time your major base bloc, the white vote, also needs tending but here's the thing I think you still don't understand. We love all of those folks because they are conservative and because we all have the very same values and motivations. Love 'em and will vote enthusiastically for them every chance we get. Stop insulting us by waffling on race, gender and sexual identities. We're adults, we can handle The Talk. In fact we badly want a national conversation on all the things the left and the media (but I repeat myself again) use to keep us separate and distrusting because we know we're not racist/sexist/homophobic and we want a chance to prove they're lying about us. If they won't do it, and they absolutely won't, then it's time for you to take the bit between your teeth and run with it. Imagine a national audience tuning in to a discussion on American Race Relations and Gender Politics sponsored by Bain and chaired and staffed by prominent minority Conservatives. Let the light of truth shine like the Sun on what we really believe and who we truly are and watch your trust level with the minority communities rise like a magnificent rocket ship to the moon. They may not all vote your way but you will convince some, maybe many, that you're not the party of Jim Crow, gay internment camps and death boards for women and those folks may well come around and admit what we all already know. There's a hell of a lot more conservative thought and ideas among minority populations that anyone is willing to admit. That scares the hell out of the left, I absolutely guarantee, because while many will continue to vote themselves bread and circuses the inverse is also true. Given the opportunity and motivation, just as many, perhaps even a plurality, will vote themselves more liberty. That is one of your basic missions and again, you suck at it and are failing miserably. Take every opportunity you get to remind all minorities who the true racists are. Who fought for abolition? Who fought for segregation? Who worked to keep poor blacks ignorant and helplessly disarmed? Which party purposely infected poor blacks with Syphilis? Who put hundreds of thousands of Japanese Americans in internment camps? Why do you not do this?
- Tattoo this on your foreheads backward so you can read it every time you look into a mirror.
Incompetence is a political sin that is always punished.
Take the long view and start by building a winning team. That begins with hiring smart people and giving them the resources they need to succeed. Magically good things happen when you select competent people, give them room to grow and opportunities for success, then step back and let them get on with it. You have vast wells of resources out there you haven't even attempted to tap. Sticking with the establishment and the tried and true because you're comfortable with it and profiting personally from it simply isn't going to work anymore. If you refuse you're liable to find yourself on the outside looking in. We who are sick and tired of paying the price of your failures have had enough. We are mad as hell and we're not going to take it anymore. That's a warning and a gold plated promise. Bankable Baby. Your base is now as angry as it's ever been and only metaphorical blood, either the left's or yours your choice, will sate them.
- Conservative Fiscal and Foreign Policy positions and values are game changers and winners on the national and local stage. Wait, let me rephrase that by adding one word. True. True conservative values. Smaller government. Less intrusion. More freedom. But you have to mean it and prove you do by your actions when in office no matter the short term price. Your party is so myopic I'd laugh except you have been representing me and your losing and incompetence is sending our bus screaming off the cliff. Stop polluting the conservative waters with nonsense and squishy candidates. Just one bad candidate or ignorant policy position on the national stage is a death knell for everyone and everything else in the current charged political climate now dominated by liberal theology because of your failures and incompetence. Romney didn't lose because of his economic positions, he lost because of his policies as Massachusetts Governor and because of your muddled and poorly defined positions and the track record of so many you have managed to put into office. You suck as campaigners kids. Trust me on this. Really. But you suck worse as instruments of governance. Once in power you tend to forget conservative principals and vote yourselves into corners the Democrats later use to demonize you and your base sees as just another slap in the face. One thing about us true conservatives. We never forget and rarely forgive. Understand that and the rest will be cake. Forget that and keep on bringing forth the stupid and vapid RINOs and you might as well get used to permanent also ran status. As for the rest of us we'll wave goodbye as we build a new party and organization and leave you in the dustbin of history. Say hi the the Bull Moose Party for us will ya?
- Speaking of RINOs. You really never learn do you? You've been told time and time again. "Don't nominate him, you'll alienate the base." But you keep on doing it over and over again. Here's another one of those hints. Bush was the last one. I personally like ol' George W as just sumdood. I think he is a good and honorable man and he acted swiftly and surely in the immediate aftermath of 9/11. But he was a economic disaster who's fiscal and foreign policy failures and miscalculations led us directly to where we find ourselves today. He could no more be elected now than, oh say, McCain or Romney. Do you understand that? Does that register? Maybe even sting a little bit? Good. Alas, I fear you do not truly get the point so let me make it plain. Again. No more RINOs. Tell them to go find a third party for themselves or better yet just STFU and stop shitting on the rest of us. "It's my turn" is neither a reasonable nor viable way to pick your candidates.
- If you squander your current majority in the House you will lose it in 2014. Read that again and ponder those words and the potential outcomes. Two that spring to mind are victory and an increased majority in the House (and maybe some positive movement in the Senate) if you stay firm and crushing defeat with the House lost and a bare presence in the Senate if you go dead cockroach on us. It's all up to you. Why do I lack confidence in you I wonder? Your track record perhaps? This is a wonderful and verily God given opportunity to show that you really are the party of smaller government, less intrusion, fiscal responsibility and balanced budgets. This is your big chance. Don't blow it. A good place to start is by firing John Boehner's ass and replacing him as Speaker. (See Squishy RINO above). If he, and by extension all the rest of you House Republicans, cave and pander and compromise you'll only convince the rest of us that we erred yet again and will have to keep on kicking your butts out of office so we can try to elect conservatives with steel spines. Yes, it's a long process. Have I mentioned that it's also a long war and that your constituency understands that? Your job, your only job at the moment, is obstruction. Not accommodation and not compromise. Go forth, represent those who elected and trust you and kick as much Democrat ass as you can reach. I know that's a foreign concept but try it just once. You might be surprised at how good it feels and how popular you become with those whose support you depend on. You don't even have to win, just fight and refuse to surrender. I swear, you're worse than the French. We got your back, now how about you having ours? Doesn't seem like too much to ask for. Just don't fucking cave. Again.
- Disarm your opponents loudly, publicly and even profanely if they try to ignore you. Emphasize the important and de-emphasize the trivial. Never give them the chance to put you on the defensive. Be pugnacious not apologetic. Stay ahead of your opponents by anticipating their attacks and then addressing them before you get slimed. And when they do attack you don't let it pass as beneath your dignity. Fire back and kick them in the balls. Get down in the mud and dare them to come after you. You should relish the chance to beat your opponents bodily with clubs made from their hypocrisy and lies. All that 'don't turn the moderates off by speaking harshly' business is pure, unadulterated horse crap. There are no moderates, only partisans and the weak minded. Those who are just looking for the convenient excuse they need to do what they knew all along they were going to do. Vote for the guy handing out the free stuff. Fuck them. Hit your base and aggressively expand it and to hell with those you cannot and will never convince to support your candidate. You are compromising us all to death. Stop it. As my little gift to you, dear republican Party, here's your stock response to Democrats for the next four years.
"Come Get Some Punks"
Dare them, ridicule them, bitch slap them at every opportunity but for the sake of all you hold dear stop deferring to them!
- Get your fiscal house in order and when you do stick to your guns in the face of all adversity. Entitlements as they currently exist will bankrupt us. Sooner rather than later. Yes we need to have a safety net of some sort. Yes, we need to have a way and the means to address poverty. But the current state of affairs is unsustainable. You know it, I know it and I think the majority of Americans know it. Of course which entitlements must be addressed depends on just whose ox is being gored. I understand that. Hell, we all understand that. But pinging around between ill thought out strategies ranging from privatizing social security to tax cuts for the highest earners isn't making your case. Yes, we need to reform and maybe even eliminate SS. Yes, we need the producers to keep more of their money to reinvest in the economy and create jobs. Again, we all know and understand that and I'm not even suggesting that you vary from those positions. Quite the contrary. But for Ghu's sake do try and make those points without sounding like Simon Legree's even more heartless twin brother. "The evil republicans want granny to die and the poor to die and the sick to die." Stop me if you've heard any of this before. Offense is still the best defense, especially when you're on a losing streak and brother are you ever on the mother of all losing streaks. Saddam is laughing at you from hell for crying out loud. Here's a thought. The best thing Romney ever did was his whiteboard presentations. I have no idea why he stopped because I thought they were brilliant and effective as hell. Most adults are visual learners. That is, we understand and retain information best when we can see it. Complex concepts can be above the understanding threshold of many when only presented as a lecture. That's not a criticism or insult, it's simple reality. Try some off season town hall sort of thing, set up some easels and give it a go. Have your politicians and advisers take a class on adult learning. Hell, I'm a certified police instructor who has been taught adult learning concepts by people who's job is to teach cops so I understand that there's a difference between talking at someone and presenting information in a good learning environment and so should you. (For those who don't understand what I'm talking about, imagine a classroom of 6 year olds who have ADHD, zero home discipline and are hopped up on sugar. It's an order of magnitude worse than that). I'd be happy to volunteer or at least point you in the right direction. Do an internet search for POST Instructor Development Course and you'll get an idea of what I'm talking about. You can no longer rely of the electorate to be self motivated learners. You must get your message out there in a way that they can connect with so they can learn the truth. Not PR or prettily packaged lies but cold, hard unavoidable reality. The Democrats aren't any better at this than you are, they just present a message that is so simple and requires so little effort to learn that their supporters get it through sheer repetition and osmosis. Your message is harder so you need a better lesson plan. This is so vitally important that it cannot be emphasized enough. An informed and learned electorate is a conservative electorate. Or at the least sympathetic enough with your positions that they will give you the benefit of their attention. The Dems like a dumbed down voter base, they depend on it, and this is where you can make a real difference. Ignore this at all our peril. Like I said, call me.
- A day after the election I heard an unnamed liberal media (but I again repeat myself) commentator make the following statement;
"It serves the Republicans right, nominating such an extremist for President."
If Mitt Romney is the extreme right of your party then you're much further along the path to irrelevance than even I fear. It's patently untrue of course and yet no one from your party so much as made a peep in your own defense. Let me assure you Mitt Romney most emphatically did not lose because he was too Conservative and if you allow them to perpetuate this myth at least one of two things will happen and both of them are bad.
First you won't learn a thing. You'll listen to exactly the people you shouldn't be listening to and blithely assume that the path to victory in 2016 is to go left of Romney. Chris Christie, that fat sack of crap, would love that since he imagines he'd be the natural choice in that scenario. Nothing could be further from the truth. Go hard right and tell anyone who doesn't like it to take a flying fuck at a rolling doughnut. The Republican party is supposed to be the Conservative party and apologies for being exactly that are contraindicated. Be proud of who you are and what you represent. Hell, we are. Put on your Wookie suit, nut up and act like you care about this country and not just electing any candidate with a pulse and an R by his name.
Second. There's this thing called Incrementalism and it's a Very Bad Not Good Thing. If you allow the left to dominate this discussion they'll convince way too many people that Mittens actually is the far right of the party and then that foundation we talked about earlier will never, ever get fixed properly. Slapping some paper mache on the cracks and calling it good is not the way back to a sound structure. Convincing yourself that Mittens Romney is to the right of Attila The Hun is just plain self destructive to your party and your cause.
- Be brave, be strong and never back down from a fight. Have I mentioned that many in your party are worse than the French? You're a bunch of fucking surrender monkeys. March toward the sound of gunfire because a whole lot of your compatriots are sacrificing, fighting and dying, sometimes quite literally, to advance the cause of Liberty. A good Warrior is one who doesn't go looking for trouble but never backs down in the defense of what he believes in and loves. Spend some time with some of our wounded warriors. Get inspired and shed tears of joy at the realization that we can still produce such men and women. Then, this time with tears of shame at your own weaknesses clouding your vision, consider your exact level of commitment. Now check your fears at the fucking door, strap on your armor and join the front lines. Half of America is already there, waiting for you to join us.
- Talk to the gunnies. In case you missed it they have been steady winning for a while now. They understand that the fight never really ends and are quick to take action to defend their rights and liberties at the drop of a hat. Rottweilers are abject pussies compared to those folks. Pitbulls with Evil Black Rifles and not an ounce of back up in them. And they've been massively successful in rolling back many of the inroads on our Second Amendment rights. Astonishingly so in my humble opinion. Think back just a few years ago when our Second Amendment rights were under assault from virtually every corner. When simply buying a rifle with a pistol grip and bayonet lug was virtually impossible. When magazines that held more than 10 rounds was the stuff of Class III license holders. When no one, no one could get a concealed carry permit. Now look at us. How times have changed. And they didn't change overnight. Their successes were hardly easy and never simple. They were the result of years of uncompromising work and not a little sacrifice on the part of the leaders of the movement and the faithful. And let me school you here. They didn't do it by having a discussion, whining about how there's nothing they could do or compromising. They did it by being hard nosed, out thinking and out fighting the opposition. The gunnies understood and still understand that it's a long war and battles will be won and lost along the way. But if you stick to your core principals and you have right and the Constitution on your side you will win as long as you don't surrender. They have all the same liabilities you do as well as some of the same strengths. What they have that you don't is the courage of their convictions and the understanding of what the stakes really are the what the result of losing the fight will be. They don't just win they crush their opponents mercilessly. Study them, their methods and the way they win a steady stream of converts and take heart. If one of the most hated segments of society (at least by the left) can win then so can you. Ask them for some help and ideas. I betcha they'd be glad to comply. The best part is that the majority of them are already among your core or would be if you weren't such dismal sacks of suck and failure.
- Defend yourself for fuck's sake and by extension your supporters and voters. They chose you to be the face of their party and their movement. You speak for them. Act like it means something to you. Get angry and tell Chris Matthews and his ilk to go fuck themselves. In those very words. On national TV. You'll be instant heroes to every conservative and leaner in the country. You weren't picked to sit your fat ass in a comfy chair, ensconced behind an ornate desk in your paid for opulent office in the west wing of the Ivory Tower with a view of the ocean and consider your growing naval lint collection. You were picked to fight for those who entrusted you with their very freedoms and futures and if you're too soft to mix it up in a war of words you are unworthy of their continued support. Our soldiers and cops are out there every day, risking and often losing life and limb to defend us and our Constitutional form of Government. If they can fight and die the least you can do is tell those who would destroy everything they're fighting for that they're full of crap and you won't let them get away with it. The left in this country lies every time they open their mealy little mouths. Calling them liars is hardly a terror inducing proposition. Man the fuck up. Got that?
- In that same vein, stop letting your enemies define you. They are not honest, they are not reasonable and they are not fair. They are also not interested in a level playing field and will take every opportunity they can get to hang unflattering epithets on you and by definition all conservatives. Every time they do this we get a little angrier. Mostly at you because we also see you NOT out there refuting the constant drumbeat of lies, ignorance and Goebbelizing of conservatives and conservatism. Really, many of us have wondered often over the years if you even like us or our views. I'm getting more and more convinced that you don't. It's up to you to prove you are both believers and worthy of our support. Continuously allowing the other side to punch you in the face and steal OUR lunch money is not helping your case.
Listen Republican Party. I am one of you. Or at least you as I want you to be. I've been registering as and voting for your party since 1980. Not forever but still a very long time. We've gone from Reagan to "Who's Up this election?" You are in danger of losing me lock, stock and barrel. I'm a veteran, retired cop and Patriot of the first stripe. On November 6th I was ashamed of my country. Not to put too fine a point on it I was, and still am, ashamed to be a Republican. How in the fuck did that happen? I must admit here that it's partly my fault and I will take my full share of the blame. I let you kids wander off and get yourselves into all manner of trouble and difficulties. I gave you too much rope and you managed to somehow tie yourselves to the railroad tracks with it. So be it. The adults are back and things are going to change.
All that's gonna stop. Whatever I have to do I am taking my party back. We may fail and the country slide into dissolution no matter what any of us do but I promise it won't happen without a hell of a fight. We are going to kick some epic ass and if we go down we're taking a host of ignorant savages with us. You are welcome to come along but you better get your shit together or I swear I'll personally kick every one of your candy asses and drop you into a steaming vat of pig shit. We can still do this but we can't do it if we're uncertain, fractured and afraid. Heal yourselves quickly, come back to your core principals and take the fight to the enemy. You've got about a hundred million hardcore motherfuckers at your back and at this point we're spoiling for a fight.
You do not want to be our first target. You really don't.