Request For Reevaluation Or How I Learned To Stop Worrying And Love The Bureaucracy

Well kinda. I was perusing the blogs today (you know I read all of you every day right? So write good.) and ran across a good post by DaddyBear. It was a comment there that got me thinking, always a dangerous thing. My hair is still smouldering. What hair I have. It was a very small fire. Go read the post and comments and you'll know which one I'm talking about.

I've written about using the word Fire in a theater before so my views on fatuous arguments is pretty well known. Now the ridiculous equating of licensing drivers and gun owners is being tossed around again. Man, how I wish this idiocy would just go away. Or the idiots. Either way.

First of all there's nothing in the Constitution about driving. It's considered a privilege and not a right. In most every state I know about when you're licensed to drive you also agree to provide a sample of your blood (Ouch), breath (Whew) and/or urine (Icky) when so requested by competent law enforcement authority having probable cause to take you forthwith to the hoosegow for driving while under the influence of intoxicating substances (or having reasonable suspicion to suspect you of the same). It's called Implied Consent and it's a wicked pisser (Yes, I do watch too much TV). You are subject to separate penalties for violation of that in addition to anything that might be levied on the DUI charge. Think cash and roadside trash detail here. Drivers Licenses can be suspended for a wide variety of things ranging from excessive moving violations (slow down you damn kids!) to being uninsured. Go to a DMV hearing sometime. Judicial they ain't. The hearing officer can basically take your license away for most anything they want and there's little or no appeals process. Do try to not piss off the hearing officer. They're grouchy. Do get a lawyer (though in many cases a lawyer isn't allowed. How's that due process working out for ya?) and maybe a payday load cause you're gonna need lots of both kids. All that is because a drivers license isn't considered property. You have no expectation nor property right to it. It's a privilege and the state can basically remove yours about any time they take a hankering to and they usually take a hankering basically anytime the shark is feeling peckish. Which is always. You can even lose your drivers license for being in arrears on your child support payments. Because they can, that's why.

On the other hand guns are a property right and their possession is actually enumerated in the Bill of Rights. Rights versus Privileges. See how that works? Requiring the licensing of gun owners is akin to requiring me to get a religion license before I can possess a Bible. Or a Torah. Or a Qur'an. It's an onerous and undue infringement on my right to keep and bear arms and makes such dependent on bureaucratic governmental approval or denial. Someone wants to create a DMV division of the BATFE. Please excuse me whilst I run screaming from the room at the thought. Will I have to parallel park while simultaneously clearing a malfunction on my Sig, reciting the Four Rules and playing 'Spot The Carjacker' with the proctor? What if I fail because the sun was in my eyes and the radio was tuned to that station that only plays Elton John when I only listen to AC/DC when I'm drivey/shooty and I was really thinking about that outfit Lu was wearing earlier and how much I was looking forward to getting home and convincing her to no longer be wearing it (if you know what I mean and I think you do) and my fingers were felling particularly fat and fumbly that day? Will I then have to appear before a hearing officer in DATFMV (Department of Alcohol, Tobacco, Firearms and Motor Vehicles) office to argue my case? What about lawyers? Does Due Process come into play? What constitutes a fair test and pass/fail scores? Who makes my local up the test? Will it be open book? Will I have to touch it? (Get your minds out of the gutter. I was talking about the gun. Perverts). Are there separate tests for rifle, pistol and shotguns? Are silencers and automatics like big rigs? Will I have to fill out a log book and keep track of rounds fired and how much sleep I've had in the last 24 hours of shooting? Who decides all this stuff?

See, here's the thing. Government does what government does. That is regulate everything under the sun and charge fees for applications, licenses and permissions for anything and everything they can sink their bureaucratic teeth into. Subject to petty tyrants bringing their bad days at home to work with them of course. How humiliating is it to find yourself on your knees begging the angry DMV clerk to please accept your paperwork instead of sending you back to Line 73 which currently stretches out the door and down the block with a wait time measured by calendar because you misspelled penis (Hint: It's the answer to question 137. What are you compensating for?)? Who wants more of that? Oh, right.

On the gripping hand, be careful what you wish for. Let me provide an anecdotal example of why this is such a bad idea. besides the obvious "It's unconstitutional Weasel Boy" one of course. Back in the day, when I wore a blue suit and did cool stuff, I used to do traffic enforcement while riding really cool motorcycles and looking like totally bitchin' and stuff. Yeah, I know. I was as hated as Al Gore at Republican Broadcasters convention. Stay with me here for a minute, I do have a point. And no, it's not the one on top of my head. Though my head is remarkably pointy shaped. But enough of that, back to the story. Among those duties was to evaluate drivers that were suspected of...let's just say of being automotively challenged and leave it at that. There was a form to fill out which included the driver's information, my information and why they were being referred. It was called a Request For Reevaluation and could either be Emergency (Great jumpin' Jehoshaphat Margarete, you need to evaluate this guy like yesterday! I mean it! He's a menace! Hey are you listening? AAIIEE!!) and just regular (Whenever you get a free minute there Skippy). Either way the driver was supposed to be called into DMV and actually, you know, have their ability to successfully pilot a four thousand pound motor vehicle on America's highways and byways reevaluated. Hey, it's right there in the form and everything! In 24 years I wrote hundreds of them. Hundreds I tell you. It's surprising how many folks out there have issues driving a car. I mean bouncing off parked cars while careening out of control down the street and nearly running down pedestrians who were minding their own business in their back yards kind of issues with driving. Or maybe not so surprising. I mean, you've been out there. Would you trust those people with your life? I thought not. Anyway. In all those years not a one ever had their license revoked. I never even got called in to DMV for a revocation hearing. I've seen a 93 year old driver hit 14 parked cars and three trees on her way downtown to the Farmer's Market and who had not a single clue anything untoward had occurred. Kept her license. Hell, that was 15 years ago and as far as I know she still has it (and a high deductible insurance policy I'm sure). I had a UPS driver pass out behind the wheel of his Big Brown Truck for reasons unknown and run off the road leaving a path of total destruction in his wake. Yep, kept his license. There were more, oh so depressingly many more. Like the gal who failed to see it and ended up in the middle of Lake El Estero. Had no idea the lake was there in spite of living in that city her whole life. Or the guy who decided the Rec Trail was just a really narrow street and what the hell are all these pedestrians and bicyclists doing in the middle of the damn road!? I've seen trees run right out into the street and then magically teleport themselves, with the car still wrapped around the trunk, right back into the grove. No idea how that happened officer. I swear. Parked cars that suddenly appeared right in front of motorists. Pedestrians who unexpectedly dropped their cloaks on invisibility just as the driver was passing on the sidewalk. The guy...well, you get the idea. None of them ever lost their driving privilege. Nary a one. If you believe my coworkers (and why wouldn't you. They're a great bunch of folks. Why the hate? Oh yeah. That whole ticket thing. Right. My bad.) none of them ever saw a driver suspended either. We may have been wrong on occasion but not every time. My point? Oh right, I was building up to something wasn't I? It's just this. Bureaucracies tend to be capricious and make frustratingly random decisions. There's no rhyme and little reason. Decisions seem to be made by way of Magic 8 Balls, fortune cookies, Ouija Boards and Lunar cycles (Full Moon Madness FTW!!). Anyone on the gun control side who thinks those people can be depended on needs to quit smoking crabgrass. That stuff will rot your brain.

I got just the answer. How about No? That's simple and easily understood, even for those who are logic challenged. I like that word. I may even love it. Short and to the point. No. N. O. Don't be shy, say it with me. No. It just rolls off the tongue. It's satisfying with no aftertaste and none of that next day "Oh Lord, who is this and what have I done?" regret. Those who insist on Conversation, Compromise and Common Sense (The three C's of gun control) should get very used to the idea of hearing it frequently and sometimes vehemently. I am not putting my civil rights, any of them, into the hands of people who think spinning the Big Wheel 'O Hilarious Outcomes is an acceptable method of decision making.

Can I get an Amen from the back row? Thank you brothers and sisters.

Six

Bob Costas Calls For End Of Car Culture

A tragedy occurred this morning as another life was senselessly ended by an intoxicated driver. You can read the story here. The driver and deceased passenger were both football players for the Dallas Cowboys. The driver was apparently impaired. This is truly a sad and horrific time for two families and our hearts and prayers go out to all affected.

However.

Luckily for all of us two sports reporters were immediately on the story and have rendered us the benefit of their extensive and exhaustive expertise on the issue of accident fatalities.

When he heard the news Bob Costas immediately decried the "Car Culture" and stated that there was no doubt in his mind that if only that player had not possessed a motor vehicle his teammate would surely be alive.

Jason Whitlock called the AAA the modern KKK of the blacktop. "America’s Car Culture is out of control, dangerous and a threat to our liberty."

We all know that the evil Car Owners and their paid mouthpieces will never voluntarily give up their overly powerful 4 wheeled instruments of death. No one needs a car with enough horsepower to kill large numbers of other motorists with a single acceleration. We must have a national conversation on common sense car control. Anyone can buy dangerous cars through the unregulated Used Car Cartels and uncontrolled private sellers which allows even felons and those with prior DUI arrests easy access to these instruments of death. No background checks are required which means that even those who have a history of mental imbalance can drive on the streets of America. Where our children walk and play every day. For crying out loud even people with no drivers licenses are allowed to buy an car with which they can mow down the unsuspecting citizens with no limits. The founding fathers never intended for such powerful instruments to be in the hands of the general population. If you want to get from place to place do as they did and get a horse.

Thank our lucky stars that we have these two stalwarts of safety and reasonableness to shepherd us through these difficult times. Thank you Bob and Jason for your even handed and unbiased reporting. What would we do without you?

Six

Business Practices

Murphy's Law at Lagniappe's Lair has a post up here about the Dealer Showroom out of Klamath, Oregon and it's owner, John Bush. Now I've never done business with these people but I trust Murphy's Law's judgement and after reading about his experiences with this company and owner I can safely say I'll never do business with them unless and until they radically change their customer service practices.

Lu and I have a rule. We'll pay a little extra for excellent service and refuse to give our hard earned money to any individual or company who treats customers as irritations or sources of one time only income.

Don't give money to anyone who hasn't earned it. Sounds like an indictment of the government now that I think on it.

Six

Speaking Of Ridicule And Offending The Offendable

Innomatus brings us Jeeee-haaawwwd. Go. Read. Laugh.

That Inno, he's a funny guy. Though I'm not standing too close to him anymore.

Six

I'm Scared

I am so very frightened at the violent rhetoric out of The Angry Left. All this talk about terrorists and re-education camps and civil war has me absolutely shivering in fright.

I'm afraid to do routine things such as go to the gun store to buy a few staples like a new gun or some more ammunition. My wife refuses to go to the range with me. We shouldn't have to live in such abject fear.

The Left has been taken over by the violent with visions of mass murder and genocide against all those who simply disagree with them. It's shocking and those in the Democratic party must do something about it. Their party has been consumed by the violent, the ignorant and the uneducated. It's filled with brutish thugs who think nothing of threatening and dominating those of us who are doing no more than attempting to have a conversation with them. Instead of talking to us they shout their hate speech and promise dire consequences to those of us who are simply attempting to bring them into the 21st Century. They're throwbacks to a time when only the savage survived. They even have like thinkers in the very highest levels of the Government!

I don't understand it. I blame it on an improper upbringing and poor education. All those drug addled parents, children of the violent sixties, who were free to inculcate their own kids into their vile cults of extremism with no oversight from a reasonable government. All those poor children, influenced by the uncaring professors at Harvard and left to their own devices. How could they possibly turn out as anything but mirrors of their parents? It's shocking how little we care for these poor, unfortunate products of progressivism. I mean, they've used drugs, lied, rioted, beaten people up, threatened horrific violence and even planted bombs! It's almost unbelievable to the poor sensibilities of anyone raised with the proper respect for human life and the rights of others. It brings me to tears, thinking about those poor, misguided people. One has only to look at their words to understand the depths to which they have sunk in their desperate attempts to find their way in a country that holds them in contempt.

And it's all out fault. We've been too lenient. Too understanding. We've been the enablers of their psychosis and I am ashamed. We have insisted that they be adults when they've been no more than frightened children the whole time. How could we have been so cruel? One does not insist that children make adult decisions and hold adult responsibilities. That is just adding to their burdens and fails to address the deeper problems. Children must be taught and shown the proper way lest the end up as The Angry Left and act out, like spoiled children are wont to do.

It's more than can be tolerated. Those of us who are Right thinking must do something. It's time for those in the government to take action. What we need are new laws to protect us from them and those in The Angry Left from themselves. We need to get them the help they so desperately need. I, for one, do not think they're beyond our help. Jails and prisons just make things worse. They only learn how to be even better Leftists and that makes them even more Angry. It's nothing more than a vicious circle of addiction, crime and violence. What's needed are laws designed to cut the cycle of dependence and give The Angry Leftists a chance to succeed and have a meaningful life.

These are people who, through a series of unfortunate circumstances, have been convinced that their only chance to escape their circumstances is through rampant and extreme liberalism. They can be shown that another path exists and that they too can follow that road to freedom and Independence.

We all must pull together in this endeavor. We can succeed, indeed we must do do.

After all, it's For The Children. Won't somebody please think of The Children?

Six

And a h/t to Borepatch for the meme.