'The true Soldier fights not because he hates what is in front of him, but because He loves what is behind him.' -G. K. Chesterton

24 September 2011

Please Excuse Me While I Go Off

Listen lady. Yeah, you. The one with the 110 pound yellow dog. The one who charged out from behind your house with no leash and you nowhere to be seen. Growling and threatening my wife, myself, my elderly crippled 15 year old dog and my 35 pound 4 month old puppy. You have no idea how lucky you are.

See, my dogs can't defend themselves from that but I can. In fact, they depend on me for that. it's part of our pact. They turn themselves over to me heart and soul and I protect them, teach them, care for them and love them all their living days.

I will defend them, my wife and myself from all threats. All threats. With or without the legal, concealed firearm I habitually carry. It's why I put myself in between him and them. It's why my wife moved herself and our old dog away. She wasn't retreating (she's have cleaned any clock in need of such herself had I not been there), she was moving out of my field of fire. She's smart like that.

People like you really piss me off. You have a bad tempered dog who's animal aggressive and what do you do? Do you keep him under control at all times? Do you keep him contained in a fenced yard? Do you keep him on a leash? Will he even listen to you when you try to verbally control him? Have you ever even heard of the concepts of training and socialization? Apparently not because he charged me and mine and almost paid for that little indiscretion with his life.

I don't want to kill your dog. Really I don't. But 5 feet. That's all that separated him from being dead. 5 lousy feet and it would have been totally and completely your fault. Besides, I love dogs, all kinds of dogs. I even love yours (much more than you do from what I can see) and if I had him for a couple of weeks he'd be a better and happier animal for it. I'd train him and teach him and love him and socialize him. He'd be more secure and better equipped to handle the every day occurrences that every well trained and loved dog can pull off without a conscious thought.

You apparently think your dog is happy because you exert not the slightest bit of control over him nor expect the least bit of obedience from him. I have news for you. He's not happy he's insecure. A good dog is a happy dog. A happy and well adjusted dog knows exactly, precisely what his role in the pack is and what his handler's expectations are. He isn't dog aggressive. He doesn't charge 4 month old puppies, elderly dogs and their owners barking and growling and generally threatening them with a mauling. A good dog is one that is not only well integrated into the family, he can also be trusted with the neighbor children and strange dogs, especially those smaller than him. For God's sake lady, if you don't want him or can't control give him to someone who wants him and will love him enough to teach and train him. The most loving and best bonding times you can spend with your dog is when you're learning things together. Put down the pie and turn off wrestling. Grab (or buy) a leash and take your dog for a nice walk. While you're doing that do some simple training. Easy commands like COME and SIT and maybe NO. Buy a book and read up on dog training. Maybe stop spending hours visiting the Hollywood websites where you can read up on the doings of the beautiful people and do a google search for dog training tips. See, I don't hate your dog. I want the very best for your dog. I just despise you, you arrogant, stupid, vapid piece of excrement.

Oh and the sidewalk and street around your particular little slice of white trash heaven are not "his territory". It's public space that I have every right to use with the expectation that your dog will not escape your scanty, greasy, fat fingered, remote control indented fingers to attack me. I will go out of my way to avoid that corner but if I find myself back in your neighborhood, walking my well trained and well behaved dogs, I will be on the watch for you and your dog. If you love your dog like I love mine he'd best be either trained or restrained.

Please don't make me kill your dog lady. It would absolutely break my heart. I'd be miserable and I'd hate myself. But make no mistake. If he makes it that 5 extra feet I will defend my dogs, my wife and myself. And it won't be pretty.



innominatus said...

Well said.

Print this out and staple it to her front door.

Six said...

That's a great idea Inno.

Blue said...

Excellent post.

I agree, staple it to her door.

To not train your dog is cruel. Just sayin'

Six said...

Couldn't agree more Blue.