It's the Onion for Ghu's sake.
Congress takes group of schoolchildren hostage.
My favorite line?
Sen. Harry Reid (D-NV) suddenly burst into the National Statuary Hall with a pair of black panty hose over his head and began firing a Beretta 9 mm handgun into the air, shouting, "Everybody down! Everybody get the fuck down!"
I'd pay good money to see ol' Harry with black panty hose over his head.
Of course, someone is going to be intimidated or threatened or offended or something.