I'm certain you're all familiar with the Dire Wolf, The Timber Wolf the Grey Wolf and even the Labrador Wolf. Well we here at Mutual Of Six's Wild Living Room have discovered a new breed of wolf and he puts all others to shame.
Behold the dreaded and dreadfully awesome Poopy Wolf.
That's a magnificent specimen standing protectively over a recent kill of a Calico Lion. A ferocious beast in it's own right. You can see the predatory blood-lust in his eye. Every muscle, sinew, fang and talon bespeaks his place at the very tippy tip top of the food chain. Violent death awaits all who fall within his grasp.
The Poopy Wolf was long thought to be a fantasy, the product of Heavishot fueled fever dreams or the wild imaginations of mad duck hunters. But on a recent safari to the depths of my kitchen and living room I finally have photographic proof of this beast's existence. It was a dangerous journey, fraught with many perils and much perilness and perilitude. At least 7000 Plush Puppy Porters perished in those ghost haunted Khaki Berber fields. But in the end I prevailed and through much harrowing dangerousness I have brought back these amazing and graphic pictures.
Here we see the Poopy Wolf on the kill. An Orange Giraffe has stupidly blundered into the Poopy Wolf's path and paid a dreadful price. The Poopy Wolf will eat well tonight.
The Poopy Wolf's natural prey is the plush stuffed animal. He usually hunts by ambush, lying in wait near the toy box, but he will sometimes stalk and chase them down when thrown by the hand of "Daddy".
A graphic picture of the fresh and still stuffy prey. The kill is mercifully short. Death comes quickly from those powerful jaws of razor sharp awesome rending chewing dismembering killer death. Gruesome.
The Poopy Wolf drags both kills off to his den where he can dismember and consume them without being bothered by jealous trespassers trying to steal a scrap for an easy meal. Or Momma.
The gruesome results of this vicious and deadly predator. He is a ravenous bottomless pit of hunger and chewiness.
Nature may seem cruel but the top predators must kill to eat and survive. The Poopy Wolf is actually improving the wild herds of Orange Giraffe, Calico Lions and indeed all the plush stuffed animals who roam the vast expanses of the living room by weeding out the slow, sick or newly purchased.
Nature's Top Predator, the Poopy Wolf.
Fear the Poopy.
We now return you to your normal programming, already in progress.