'The true Soldier fights not because he hates what is in front of him, but because He loves what is behind him.' -G. K. Chesterton

26 October 2010

Part II Insane Crazy Welder Boy

With the move taking up so much of my time I'm going to speed up the posting of some of my older stuff from that other blog. I'll be posting some new stuff as well but not much for a couple of weeks. Sorry. Hope you enjoy the continuing adventures of a self described grease monkey.

When last we left out brain damaged wanna be fabricator he was contemplating a bent axle and frame. Let's check in with him now as we bring you the next installment of

Insane Crazy Welder Boy

OK. First up, straightening the bent axle.

Tools: 1 large hammer and 1 concrete driveway. Apply as necessary and there you have it. Axle all better now. (Note the cool argyle socks and white tennis shoes. Fashion is my middle name)

Next, rebuild the rear bearings. These are ball bearings. Not the nice ball bearings contained in a ball bearing race but loose so when you pull out the axle, say to straighten it for instance, they scatter in all directions in a shower of tiny, round, shiny expletives.

Now to tackle that frame. You remember that. It looks like this

And this. I mean, seriously, did some mutant pitbull chew on this thing??

But not to worry, I have a plan. See, I found another bike in a field. It has a straight frame. See the straight frame? Such a nice straight frame. Will the crazy man exercise a modicum of common sense and utilize the nice, straight frame? Does a bear do his business in the Vatican?

See, the problem is I have, for some irrational reason, become unnaturally attached to the Schwinn and have decided I hate the new frame. Schwinn = Love. New frame = Hate. I don't know why. Did I mention I'm a crazy man?

The solution? Remember the big hammer...er, I mean precision instrument, I used to straighten the axle? Yep. Judicious use got the frame more or less straight. The compressor and a wire wheel removed the paint. Whee! A quick trip to the local machine shop resulted in a nice piece of half inch i.d., eighth inch pipe (cost: Freebie. Woo Hoo!). The sawsall soon made short work of slicing that bad boy in 2 pieces and I'm ready for repair. It's simple, clamp it over the bad frame and weld it in place. Easy. Right? Right?

Clamp, clamp, clamp. Weld, weld weld, Welder Boy. Hey, that's kinda catchy. Somebody really should turn that into a song.

Hey, I almost look like I know what I'm doing! Please note the complete lack of safety gear except the helmet that allows me to keep being a sighted person. Now that's manly!

Liberal application of the air grinder and before you can say Xanax, it's a frame. Kinda. At least marginally straight and without those unsightly bite marks. I know it looks rough right now but I have it on good authority that the sanding and painting faeries have been seen in the neighborhood. So I'm assuming we're good there.

Next installment;
Why rust is not our friend
Can a man really find happiness with brakes from Fred Flintstones bike?
Tune in next week for another exciting episode of
Insane Crazy Welder Boy!!!


innominatus said...

I think I see the tail of a Corvette in those pics.

No, I'm not jealous or anything... :)

Ed Rasimus said...

I particularly like the welding set-up, ensconced between roughly $175,000 of various Detroit iron rigs. Scenario, ungloved, unsleeved, Tennie wearing Welder Boy drops or spatters slag on various body parts, screams uncontrollably, drops active torch next to work area where it ignites recently purchased premium Candy-Apple Glowworm Clearcoat lacquer in the one gallon economy size. GEICO, All-State, State Farm, USAA and Progressive all deny that their policies cover stupid welding accidents between parked vehicles costing more than $38.00 each.

Six said...

That is my 1980 Corvette Inno, which is down waiting for a steering column replacement. It's a love/hate relationship. I love the car but hate working on it. If I ever meet the C3 engineers responsible for that thing I'm going to kick so much ass. I wonder if the Corvette Faeries are reading this? If so you guys are falling down on the job. Geez, let's get with the program please.

You should have seen the burns on my arms Ed. I'm one of those guys who's a little absent minded. When I start a project I tend to just run with it wearing whatever I happen to have on at the time. Drives Lu nuts. And don't forget that Corvette is fiberglass. Flammable fiberglass. I really need more adult supervision.
And did I mention I'm insane?

LauraB said...

Holy Pitas, Sir. You do like to live dangerously...but, ah, is it fair to note Lu's a lucky lady?

Six said...

You are far too kind Laura.
I'm young enough to still think I'm immortal and old enough to be heavily insured. It's a volatile mix.

Sarge said...

Only thing missing here is that traditional wash pan filled about one quarter full of gasoline for washing various parts.
I really do Love this guy!!!!

The DO said...

(This is the typical conversation had while in the middle of many project du jour)
Me: "Hey, Dad, you're bleeding"
Dad: "I am? Where?"
Me: "There, and it's pretty bad, too."
Dad: "Huh, didn't notice."
Me: "Want me to at least stop the bleeding?"
Dad: "Nah, I'll be fine."

Six said...

Hey, you know the old saying. No brain no pain!

Sabrosa Cycles said...

Quite possibly the most badass repair I have ever seen. Nice, nice, nice. I love custom work.