'The true Soldier fights not because he hates what is in front of him, but because He loves what is behind him.' -G. K. Chesterton

15 May 2013

Career Day

It's Career Day! Well, not really I just wanted to talk about jobs and stuff. Still, I am nothing if not a giver so here's a cute little song featuring kids and hats. I seem to have an unseemly preoccupation with hats these days.



Careers are funny things. Sometimes we choose them and sometimes they choose us. Take me for example. "Please!" as my wife would say but then she thinks Henny Youngman was a historian so what does she know. I was seemingly born to be a Soldier and Cop. I can take abuse (witness the aforementioned wife), look reasonable in blue wool serge and love wearing bus driver caps.
I could never have turned to a life of crime. Stealing, lying, all those buried bodies. And that's just local politics. Still, I seemed destined for a life in uniform. But that's not what I wanted. I didn't want the violence, the late nights, the bad porn mustache. When I was a lad I wanted something else, something refined and genteel. Something that didn't require exposing my tender skin to danger and the heartbreak of jock itch. Oh no my friends. I wanted to be....

A ballerina.

Not a ballet dancer like Rudolf Nureyev but a ballerina like Anna Pavlova. Wearing leotards and a pink Tutu. Flowing gracefully across the stage performing Croise Derrieres and Efface Derrieres. Heh heh. Derriere.

But, alas, it was not to be and why you may very well ask. I mean, I wouldn't ask because I'm just naturally incurious but you could. Anytime now. Ok, I'll just answer.

Because Racism, that's why. Apparently bald, clumsy, middle aged, fat men cannot be ballerinas. As if that were some cosmic reality writ large upon the vast continuum of the ethereal universality. Yeah. I went there. I guess ballerinas must be thin, beautiful and of the gender known as 'Female'. So I never got to realize my dream of dancing Swan Lake at Bubba's Repertory Theater and  Rib Joint where every Friday is Hoe Down day. But that doesn't mean I don't still have that urge every once in a while...

Such grace. Such beauty. Such brain freezing awesomeness. Once seen it can never be unseen and you'll never view ballet the same way ever, ever again.

You're welcome.

Six

17 comments:

Rev. Paul said...

That's just wrong on SO MANY LEVELS. But what has been seen, cannot be unseen.

That's also the hardest I've laughed in awhile. Thank you!

Six said...

Thank you Rev!

Monkeywrangler said...

Help! My eyes! My poor eyes!

I'm not sure if they have had their retinas seared by the sight of Six attempting a ballet-like pose, or the overwhelming quantity of hot pink in the background!

He he he....
Vic303

Six said...

Brain bleach simply won't help now Vic303. I'm sorry but you're probably already doomed.

Brighid said...

Go for it, the little girls will have so much fun with you in ballet class!

Blue said...

I'd say keep trying. Follow your dream. Practice. LOL... (good one)

Old NFO said...

Brain bleach stat... sigh...

Six said...

Thanks Brighid. My granddaughter will be soooo pleased with her Papa :)

Practice does make perfect Blue. Though in my case it might make for broken stuff. Think bull-china shop!

Too late NFO. You're already infected. At least I didn't wear the Tutu!!!

Theredneckengineer said...

Six, while I encourage you to follow your dream, it is recommended that one such as yourself refrain from buying a tu-tu, and instead investigate the pricing of an eight-eight.

Brigid said...

Does it come in yellow?

Many years back, a colleague and I were asked to talk to a grade school at career day. They wanted a couple of pilots.

We weren't in uniform, being asked at last minute as my copilot's wife worked at the school, but we dressed up. They said SO many kids wanted to hear us they had to put us in the auditorium. Pilots are cool but usually the police and firefighters get all the attention in this age group.

We went in and you could feel the temperature drop. Our reception was LESS than welcome.

One six year old was giving us the stink eye, and even the teachers noticed. Finally one kid spoke up. PILOTS? WE THOUGHT IT WAS GOING TO BE PIRATES!?

Sarge said...

I saved the ballerina pic I may need it for black mail later. However I do have a question, why o why did we need to know this???

instinct said...

Ignore these heathens, Six. You keep chasing that dream!

Six said...

Redneck: That's good. I may have to steal that!

Brigid: Baby Girl says pink or maybe possibly purple. Hey, she is the boss :) Ha! I love that story. I can only imagine the disappointment on those tykes faces. And if you had only known you could have thrown on a stylish eye patch and a stuffed parrot!

Sarge: You already have enough blackmail material on me :) Besides, inquiring minds want to know!

Instinct: They're all just jealous of my petiteness!!

God, Gals, Guns, Grub said...

I was doing well right up until... that last image...

Where'd I put the bacon...

Dann in Ohio

Six said...

I'm sorry but it won't help Dann. Something that horrible must be erased through much trigger therapy!

Blue said...

It's good to have friends, eh Six? :)

LOL. I can't stop laughing. This is soooo good.

Six said...

You know it Blue. Thanks my friend!