'The true Soldier fights not because he hates what is in front of him, but because He loves what is behind him.' -G. K. Chesterton

01 April 2013

Mutual Of Six And The Fabled Land Of Eyedahoe

The carpet guys are here putting in almost the last step of the remodel. A little more trim and painting and we'll be done. Hurray! While we're waiting I'll post about our trip.

The first thing to keep in mind about us and trips is that Lu and I are weird. We both love to travel but hate to sleep away from home. That means short trips and fast turn arounds. In that vein we decided to go North on Monday. It was a sudden decision that went something like this.

Six: Want to go somewhere?
Lu: Sure. Where do you want to go?
Six: I don't know. North?
Lu: Ok, let's go.

And with that we were off. Left the house about noon and pointed the nose of the big Ford up I15. We'd never been as far as the northern Utah border in a vehicle before so that became the goal. North of Salt Lake City and then see.

The mountains were still pretty snow covered. Beautiful country.

Just north of SLC we decided to visit the Fabled, Ancient and Lost City known as Pocatello in the distant and unexplored land known as Eyedahoe.

Though the prospect of traveling through such a savage wilderness might have intimidated some we had a fierce guard along to protect us. He's a killer, that one.

Gorgeous but full of danger for the unwary. The rest stops were filled with strange carts called 'Winnebago's' who's inhabitants wore colorful clothing known as 'Bermuda Shorts'. They seemed friendly. Too friendly. Sensing danger we gave them a wide berth and pressed on.

Angus as always was alert and watchful.

Riding shotgun was the always reliably deadly Lu. Isn't she cute? Don't be fooled by that angelic face. Inside that soft exterior beats the heart of a born killer. This is her war face. Aarrgghh! Frightening.

We finally crossed the border into Eyedahoe and started across the untracked wilderness proper. We were frightened. What unknown and hidden dangers would we encounter?

For about a 10 mile stretch we saw herds of animals the locals refer to as 'Foud', 'Dinner on the Hoof' and 'Quick Larry, get the Rifle'.

I will admit to some urges to stop and 'collect' a sample for the biology department at The University of Six to study but time and good sense convinced me otherwise. Though the presence of a native tribe member called a 'Game Warden' didn't help.

Lu is also a sort of native guide. Though she has never been to this area before her grandmother was born and raised in a village called Malad. An uncouth name for what is surely a backward and primitive area. Since Lu speaks the native dialect I asked her if she wanted to stop in and visit the locals. She declined citing the presence of a tribe called the 'Moremanz'. They apparently eat dishes such as 'Funeral Salad' and 'Funeral Potatoes'. Clearly a tribe of cannibals. We passed by and continued on to our destination. The fabled lost city of Pocatello.

About 2000 hours local time we finally reached our goal. We had found the lost city after braving the dangers and Mini Marts of that howling wilderness. The inhabitants greeted us warmly but were frightened by our cameras. Something about capturing their souls and our inability to get their 'good side' so no pictures were taken. We found lodging with a villager in his hovel he called the 'Comfort Inn'. Angus pronounced the lodgings adequate and settled in for a chewie and a nap. He was on guard all night though as the sounds of some other travelers on the floor above kept him on edge. (Yes. Before you ask those are in fact my toes). They were apparently engaging in some sort of ritual that involved dancing elephants trying to stomp holes in the floor from the sounds of it. Angus was not amused.

The following morning my eyes snapped open at 0200 hours. I roused my two sleepy and very grumpy companions and after a meal of 'Donuts' provided by a village vendor we were off on our journey home. After another trip fraught with bad drivers and junk food we arrived back at Casa Six safe and sound barely 24 hours after our epic journey began.

All in all it was a wildly successful pilgrimage to the fabled land of Poetahtoes though we failed to discover the legendary Poetahtoe Graveyard. A mysterious place where the Poetahtoes are said to lay to rest their dead. We anticipate another journey to explore further and perhaps even interview some of the savage inhabitants as soon as more funding can be procured. I'm thinking government grant.



OldAFSarge said...

I hope you do more travelogues in the future. Great stuff!

(And no, I would not mess with Angus or Lu, they both have "that look" which only a fool would ignore!)

Wow, they have elephant dances out there too?

Old NFO said...

Too funny... :-)

RabidAlien said...

LOL Strange place, indeed! (I was stationed a bit further northish, in Idaho Falls, for one of my final Navy schools...yes, strange place indeed.)

Paladin said...

Loved this! We love to explore too - and responsibilities at home usually keep our trips short. We once flew into SLC and then drove up north into Idaho and eventually Jackson, Wyoming or as I like to call it Heaven.

Jon said...

We'll be headed south to SLC for the weekend, hope my trip is amusing as yours was to my home state.

The DO said...

lol, mom always looks like instead of taking a picture she's afraid you're really going to punch her in the face. Even when she takes a self portrait:)

Six said...

Thanks Sarge. You are wise my friend. Both are quite dangerous! I think the elephants were imports. Probably being ridden by other intrepid explorers.

Thanks NFO!

It is a strange and wondrous place indeed RabidAlien. The Falls is on our list of places to visit. Especially now that we know there are Navy there!

We would love to visit Jackson Paladin. I have family in the area who love it.

I hope you know that was all done tongue in cheek Jon. Idaho was a lovely place. We're actually looking to maybe buy a small piece of property somewhere we could build a cabin. Somehow I think your trip to SLC will be at least as amusing as ours was.

It's her ingrained discomfort with having her picture taken sweetie. Not as bad as me but still..

RabidAlien said...

Alas, the Navy moved out back in the mid-90's. Guess someone took a gander at the GPS and realized that there wasn't really an ocean nearby. 'Course, I dunno about whether there's still a Naval presence out at the ARCO site, I just know the surface prototype reactor training facility was closed when I got there in 94, and the sub version closed a few classes after I graddyated.

agirlandhergun said...

I love posts like this.

I have great memories of road trips!