'The true Soldier fights not because he hates what is in front of him, but because He loves what is behind him.' -G. K. Chesterton

09 September 2010

Trooper Is Home

Hey everyone. This will be my final Trooper post.

The DO said it for me but let me just say how much your words and friendship have meant to Lu and me. That you are gracious and concerned enough to leave us your well wishes and prayers is beyond price and I will never forget you for it. Thank you from the bottom of my heart.
Trooper was more than my dog, he was my best friend. I've struggled with the guilt of my decision to let Doc ease him from his plight. Luckily I had Lu. What I couldn't see she did. When I couldn't think she could. When I was inconsolable she somehow managed to console me. She talked me through the pain and the tears and the guilt and got me through to the other side and I will forever be in awe of her strength and her wisdom. Thanks sweetheart. I love you.

We got Trooper back today and brought him home. The circle is complete. The Doc and his staff were great and we are indebted to them for taking such good care of Trooper and us. We said our final tearful goodbyes in the place where he passed in my arms. As I held his box I stroked it and imagined the feel of his soft, warm fur in my hands. But that box contains only his mortal remains, it cannot hold his magnificent spirit. Trooper was a once in a lifetime dog and I wish I could find the words to convey that to you.
I will remember. I will remember him as he was. Happy, joyful, active, loving and comforting. I will remember the ecstatic reunions every day when I came home from work. I will remember that fat black puppy with his head in my hands. Trusting and at home with me, knowing we were meant to be together. I will remember the cake stolen from an end table. The joyful crunching of a treat on quiet evenings at home. I will remember him at the lake and the beach and a pond near work. I will remember the snores from my bedside, keeping me company on dark, wakeful nights, knowing I was never alone. I will remember him sleeping at my feet, just to be near me. I will remember his laughing bark in the back of the truck as he realized we were going to one of his favorite walking spots (He had many). I will remember what great companions he and Chrisi were. I will remember how much we loved each other and how many lessons he taught me. I will remember those things and so many more. I will remember.
Lu and I are taking off tomorrow, heading to the Utah house for a while. Too many sharp memories here right now. I see him and hear him everywhere. This house was his house and there is no part of it he has not touched. He lived his whole life here.
The DO and Sarge have taken good care of this place while I've been gone and I'm going to ask them to do it for just a little bit longer. Thanks guys. The grief is passing but I need some distance and time to regain my bearings and gather some insight.

For those of you who have loved and lost there is this:

Rainbow Bridge
Just this side of heaven is a place called Rainbow Bridge.
When an animal dies that has been especially close to someone here, that pet goes to Rainbow Bridge.
There are meadows and hills for all of our special friends so they can run and play together.
There is plenty of food, water and sunshine, and our friends are warm and comfortable.
All the animals who had been ill and old are restored to health and vigor; those who were hurt or maimed are made whole and strong again, just as we remember them in our dreams of days and times gone by.
The animals are happy and content, except for one small thing; they each miss someone very special to them, who had to be left behind.
They all run and play together, but the day comes when one suddenly stops and looks into the distance.
His bright eyes are intent; His eager body quivers.
Suddenly he begins to run from the group, flying over the green grass, his legs carrying him faster and faster.
You have been spotted, and when you and your special friend finally meet, you cling together in joyous reunion, never to be parted again.
The happy kisses rain upon your face; your hands again caress the beloved head, and you look once more into the trusting eyes of your pet, so long gone from your life but never absent from your heart.
Then you cross Rainbow Bridge together….
Author unknown
I know Trooper is there with your own loved ones. He is doubtless being shown where all the good sleeping spots are and they are playing together. Someone has a ball and a game of chase is in the offing. Trooper can see again and is no longer sick and weak. He is no longer in pain. He can run again and swim again and bark that joyous sound again. He is happy and he is waiting...
I love you my old friend. I will never forget you. There is a hole in my heart that nothing can ever fill and that is as it should be. You were the greater part of me and I was never worthy of your devotion.
I'll see you soon pal.


JihadGene said...

How do I say or convey that I feel bad enough to put an internet connection of an arm around you and honestly say that "I'm very sorry about Trooper"?

Six said...

Thanks Gene. You did it very well my friend.