'The true Soldier fights not because he hates what is in front of him, but because He loves what is behind him.' -G. K. Chesterton

20 September 2010

Holy Acronyms Batman

I'm an Army vet but unlike some I don't denigrate the Air Force. Perhaps that comes from having a daughter who went AF or maybe it comes from having read so many novels by and about our intrepid Birdmen. Getting to know and appreciate Fighter Pilot Supreme Ed Rasimus certainly helps. Whatever the case, I think very highly of America's primary air arm. As Schlock says, "Close air support covereth a multitude of sins."

Then comes this. Now I'm not questioning the utility and value of the programs but someone (Raz, DO?) please explain to me how Battlefield Air Targeting Man-Aided Knowledge gives you BATMAN. Shouldn't that be BATMAK? And isn't 'Man-Aided Knowledge' just a bit of a stretch?

This is what comes from having an entire service populated by the intelligent but slightly nerdy. Comic book acronyms and superhero inspired tech.

Next thing you know all fighter pilots will be issued Bat Belts with Bat shark repellent, Batarangs and Bat ropes to rappel down the sides of buildings to escape the bad intentions of an angry paramour. Or spouse.

If it was Army it'd be something like Air Supplied Supplementary Homogeneous Onsite Liaison Extractor (ASSHOLE) as in, "Where the hell is that Air Force ASSHOLE?"

See how much better that is?

(Awaiting the scorching that is surely coming his way)


dick said...

The beauty of this is that all of the services manage to come up with at least some sort of stupid. And I thought the Air Force was immune...
I'd bag hard on the Air Farce, but my Dad flew a desk for them in between WWII and Korea.

Ed Rasimus said...

The acronym is hokey, but if you need something kind of off-kilter, comic-book neat then it works. Gadgets and gizmos is what Batman, the character is about.

Fighter pilots have always carried an array of Bat-gear, some of which was cobbled together crap and some of which was pretty ingenious. (If I had do describe it all to you I'd have to terminate you--but you're in little danger, since I can't remember the details on most of it.)

This program, however, looks designed for combat controllers and tactical air control specialists--two specialties that have gotten a lot more exotic and "special ops" oriented over the last twenty years. I played at the tactical air control game for the last two years of my blighted career. I wasn't in a jump qualified unit, thankfully, or a leg infantry support role. Mech or armor is a much cushier ride (relatively).

Combat controllers jump in with only what they carry and have to become a full blown control tower and weather station in a very short time. Tactical air controllers are FACS, advisors, coordinators, mission directors, etc. The radios alone are a load. BATMAN looks like some creative effort to incorporate modern technology in the mission. Don't denigrate the effort because of the comic book name.

Now, I've got to go out on the garage and prep my equipment in case Six need a hurry up from an Air Force ASSHOLE. Roger, that! Can do. Rolling in in ten...

dug said...

it's because the k isn't just silent, it's invisible. i like it. shows real ingenuity and the kind of disregard for the rules i can get behind.

Six said...

I hear the new AF uniform has the Bat logo in tiny digital camo.

Ed Rasimus said...

Where did you see that?

Rim shot...

Or how...?

JihadGene said...


Six said...

I can't say Ed. I was sworn to ultimate secrecy and will be launched from a steam catapult toward North Korea if I divulge my squirrel.

Gene, I may need some quick lessons in Dear Reader speak!!