'The true Soldier fights not because he hates what is in front of him, but because He loves what is behind him.' -G. K. Chesterton

25 April 2012

Assault With A Deadly Weapon?

During my career I've been kicked, punched and hit with a wide and varied selection of objects but this is just too much.

Woman hits cop in the head with a pink dildo.

Now that's a Penal Code violation

Along the same lines we've all heard about the Secret Service guys who got caught with their pants down. Here's a tip for our boys in dark suits from a former street cop. Pay the hooker. You know it's wrong, I know it's wrong and damn sure she knows it's wrong. If you piss her off she has exactly nothing to lose. She'll scream and rant and raise a ruckus leaving you with your dick in your hand and a stupid look on your face in front of a bunch of people you'd just as soon not be aware of your proclivities. If you're so morally bankrupt and equipmentally deficient that you have to pay for it make sure she at least leaves monetarily satisfied. And do try to remember the Secret part of Secret Service. Letting everyone you're carrying on with know what you do for a living and who you do it for is just asking for trouble.

If I had a nickel for every stupid John I ever had dealings with.....



Evyl Robot Michael said...

In my younger, wilder days, I actually knew a dude who had a giant, double-ended dildo in his trunk that he kept around for street brawling. His rationale? Who is going to go to the cops covered in penis-shaped welts? LOL!

Six said...

You know? That just might work!

Marty said...

Imagine the look on his face as you try to explain to the local sheriff why the pink thing in your holster is legal because of concealed carry reciprocity!