Happy Father's Day.
Alright, not really. What I'd actually like to do is talk about the two Dads that we have running around this nut house: The Six and The Sarge. One happens to be the Dad, the other the Granddad, of the estrogen side of the house (me) and as such I have stories. However I've been well paid and so won't be telling any!
Oh, alright, since you asked so nicely!
Mom taught me to drive. Meaning, of course, that she passed on the basics of starting the car, pushing the pedal, moving the steering wheel... Dad taught me to actually drive. It happened one overcast afternoon in the old truck when I attempted a left hand turn from a stop sign. I, er, sorta missed the turn aspect of the turn and more, sorta, angled my way to the left. Needless to say Dad wasn't having that. So, off to the empty side of the Mall parking lot we went! After that is a blur of time driving on white lines while hearing "Turn! Wait. Turn. Wait. Turn. Turn now!" To this day I can turn on a dime! A dime people! And I still hear him in my head, though my psych and I are working on that.
Gramps, on the other hand, is a bit more of a card then Dad. Gramps is the joker of the family and has a well defined learning curve. Those of us born in or been around a while dance the dance with the joy of a well loved tradition. That being said, however, more then one married-into-the-family member has had to ask for guidance at to whether he was joking or they really had done something wrong. He has also been yelled at more then once at a restaurant, cause, see, not all waitstaff have what we in the biz call a "sense of humor", and Gramps takes no prisoners with his ribbing. As such he has been personally threatened to stop cause some member of the family seems to deem waitstaff spit as a negative addition to a meal! To this Gramps just laughs, and keeps ribbing:)
These are the stories my negotiations allow as acceptable at this time. Further review of the details, and perhaps a new negotiation done by the eldest female child (aka Papa kryptonite) may allow for additional, and more embarrassing, stories in the future. If you would like to read more about the adventures of the Men, which may include skinny dipping in the town pool, please send contributions to:
Someplace in Eastern Europe
Thanks for your time, and seriously, Happy Father's Day everyone. Without Dads the world is a boring place full of bad drivers.