Please Forgive Me - (Updated)

But I'll be away for a bit. We talked to the vet today and we've scheduled a visit for this Friday afternoon. We'll be saying goodbye to our beloved Chrisi. Lu is being strong and I'm doing my best to be strong for her. It's time but this is always so hard. How do you say farewell to a large part of your life? I hate this, God how I do hate this.
Please keep Lu in your prayers. She's going to need them.
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Thank you all for your prayers, thoughts and kind words. I can't tell you how much they mean to me and Lu. We're doing Ok, as well as can be expected. Actually, Lu and I are both grateful for these last few days with Chrisi. We've had the chance to talk and reminisce and prepare ourselves. Most don't get that. Chrisi is comfortable. She can't get up or walk but we tend her and get her around and she seems to understand what's happening and that she's at the end. And she's let us know that she's not afraid and is in fact Ok with that. She's been actively dreaming, whuffing and running in her sleep, something she hasn't done in at least a year. I like to think that Trooper is visiting her, telling her how great it is and running and playing with her again. She so loved her big brother and has missed him every day since he left us almost 2 years ago. We took her for a last ride in the truck and a last ice cream cone. She does so love her soft serve. She's content but she doesn't let Lu out of her sight. She gets unsettled and unhappy when she's not around so Lu has basically taken the week off to spend the time with her. Angus is also a little unsettled. His behavior toward Chrisi actually changed just a week ago, about the same time that Lu and I came to the realization that she was at her end. He 's become almost submissive toward her. He wouldn't eat until she ate. He shared chewies and nuzzles her and tries to engage her in gentle play. I tried to feed him in the kitchen, where he and Chrisi normally eat but he refused. I put out his favorite food and it sat on the floor untouched all day. He wouldn't eat it until I finally put it in next to Chrisi where he could eat in his normal spot. Right next to big sister. It's been amazing to see. He's too young to really understand but he knows she's not well and I get the feeling he has an instinctive understanding of death. He also wants to be on Lu's lap, taking what comfort he can find.
I'm guessing sleep will be short and disturbed tonight. We'll probably all end up in the living room with Chrisi all night.
Tomorrow around 4 the Vet will come out to the house. And the world will be a little darker, our lives sadder. But neither Lu nor I would trade the last 15 plus years to avoid that day. Not for anything in the world. We feel God's love here with us as we endure and say our goodbyes and have taken comfort in the knowledge that we are doing right by Chrisi. It's so hard but it's part of the pact between us and the beloved pets we take into our lives. It is her time and we must let her go as painlessly and gently as we possibly can, with her dignity intact and in our loving embrace. She will go to the Bridge and be with her beloved Trooper again. She has lived a long and happy life with a pack she loved and who loved her. It's all any of us can ask.
I will probably do a short post tomorrow if I can see the keyboard through the tears. We will grieve but we will also celebrate her life. Chrisi lived fast and happy and burned so very brightly and we are better people for having her in our lives. We give thanks to God for allowing us to have her.
Thank you again my friends.
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