'The true Soldier fights not because he hates what is in front of him, but because He loves what is behind him.' -G. K. Chesterton

25 July 2012

Please Forgive Me - (Updated)

But I'll be away for a bit. We talked to the vet today and we've scheduled a visit for this Friday afternoon. We'll be saying goodbye to our beloved Chrisi. Lu is being strong and I'm doing my best to be strong for her. It's time but this is always so hard. How do you say farewell to a large part of your life? I hate this, God how I do hate this.
Please keep Lu in your prayers. She's going to need them.
Six

Thank you all for your prayers, thoughts and kind words. I can't tell you how much they mean to me and Lu. We're doing Ok, as well as can be expected. Actually, Lu and I are both grateful for these last few days with Chrisi. We've had the chance to talk and reminisce and prepare ourselves. Most don't get that. Chrisi is comfortable. She can't get up or walk but we tend her and get her around and she seems to understand what's happening and that she's at the end. And she's let us know that she's not afraid and is in fact Ok with that. She's been actively dreaming, whuffing and running in her sleep, something she hasn't done in at least a year. I like to think that Trooper is visiting her, telling her how great it is and running and playing with her again. She so loved her big brother and has missed him every day since he left us almost 2 years ago. We took her for a last ride in the truck and a last ice cream cone. She does so love her soft serve. She's content but she doesn't let Lu out of her sight. She gets unsettled and unhappy when she's not around so Lu has basically taken the week off to spend the time with her. Angus is also a little unsettled. His behavior toward Chrisi actually changed just a week ago, about the same time that Lu and I came to the realization that she was at her end. He 's become almost submissive toward her. He wouldn't eat until she ate. He shared chewies and nuzzles her and tries to engage her in gentle play. I tried to feed him in the kitchen, where he and Chrisi normally eat but he refused. I put out his favorite food and it sat on the floor untouched all day. He wouldn't eat it until I finally put it in next to Chrisi where he could eat in his normal spot. Right next to big sister. It's been amazing to see. He's too young to really understand but he knows she's not well and I get the feeling he has an instinctive understanding of death. He also wants to be on Lu's lap, taking what comfort he can find.
I'm guessing sleep will be short and disturbed tonight. We'll probably all end up in the living room with Chrisi all night.
Tomorrow around 4 the Vet will come out to the house. And the world will be a little darker, our lives sadder. But neither Lu nor I would trade the last 15 plus years to avoid that day. Not for anything in the world. We feel God's love here with us as we endure and say our goodbyes and have taken comfort in the knowledge that we are doing right by Chrisi. It's so hard but it's part of the pact between us and the beloved pets we take into our lives. It is her time and we must let her go as painlessly and gently as we possibly can, with her dignity intact and in our loving embrace. She will go to the Bridge and be with her beloved Trooper again. She has lived a long and happy life with a pack she loved and who loved her. It's all any of us can ask.
I will probably do a short post tomorrow if I can see the keyboard through the tears. We will grieve but we will also celebrate her life. Chrisi lived fast and happy and burned so very brightly and we are better people for having her in our lives. We give thanks to God for allowing us to have her.
Thank you again my friends.
Six

25 comments:

LauraB said...

Just damn...You give Lu a long hug from us. I've not dealt with that day before (as cats tend to depart with quiet ease) and fear the day.

Chrisi should get one more visit to the water on the way to the vet, don't you think?

Stay strong - then take that bike out because the tears roll away with the windy miles.

Six said...

Thanks Laura. Hugs passed along.

Murphy's Law said...

I am sorry to read that. It's hard and it hurts, but remember the good times that you all had. You were richer for her and she for you. Take all the time that you need, and write me direct if you like later.

GBBL said...

I'm so sorry. Praying for all of you.

Six said...

Thanks ML, I will. You know all too well how tough this is.

Thank you also North. The prayers are appreciated.

Lu and I appreciate the support guys.

Keads said...

My best to you and Lu during this time.

Six said...

Thanks Kelly.

agirlandhergun said...

I am so sorry. Very difficult time. You know I will be thinking of all of you.

Borepatch said...

Chrisi has a good master, who loves her enough to do the right thing.

No matter how much it tears him inside.

innominatus said...

I'm going to be in the same boat, soon. Hard for me to even think about it.

Me said...

Damn. I just saw that I had a missed call from you earlier. No words really matter at this time. It just sucks.

Six said...

Thanks Girl.

Appreciate that BP. It's what we keep telling ourselves.

I'm sorry Inno. It just is never easy.

I'll call you again later and let you know what's up brother.

Jennifer said...

I am so very sorry. They really are family. Take your time. Say your goodbyes. We'll be here when you get back. Much love to you and yours in this time of pain. Our prayers are with you.

Theredneckengineer said...

I'm terribly sorry for your loss.
Hang in there, all of you in the Six household.
prayers and thoughts extended.

Raptor said...

I'm so sorry, Six. I was in your shoes just over a year ago, when we had to put down our beloved Scooter.

Hang in there, Six. You and Lu will be in the Raptor Clan's prayers.

Coop said...

Six, Sorry to hear the news, my thoughts and prayers are with you & Lu.

I know I'm going to have similar issue in the very near future.

Coop said...

Six, Sorry to hear the news, my thoughts and prayers are with you & Lu.

I know I'm going to have similar issue in the very near future.

Sarge said...

Thanks for calling you and Lu are in our prayers. We feel badly that we are not there to support you guys.

Love You
Sarge

Murphy's Law said...

Just stopping by to check in on you. Know that you've got folks out here who care. Now spend some time with Angus. It'll help you and it'll help him because because he's feeling it too.

Six said...

They sure are Jennifer. Thanks.

Much appreciated Redneck.

Thanks Raptor and belated sorrow for your loss as well. It's just never easy.

Thanks Coop and I'm so sorry. It's not like you don't have enough on your plate as it is. Hang in there.

Love you guys too Pop. See you soon.

We're doing Ok ML, thanks. The tears come when they will. We're keeping her cool, safe and as comfortable as we can while we wait and say our goodbyes. Angus has been...Well at one point I found him outside the bathroom door, sitting with his ears and head down. We talked and he kept sneaking looks in at Chrisi. He feels the emotions and I know he can smell that Chrisi is sick but I'm unsure of just how much he really understands. I've been taking him with me every time I go out and playing frisbee with him. He'll be with us tomorrow when the Vet comes by so we'll see.

God, Gals, Guns, Grub said...

Six and Lu... the gals and I are prayin' and thinkin' of you folks...

Ruger and Sasha are the 5th and 6th dogs we've had over 30-plus years... and there's still chunks of our hearts missing from losing the previous dogs...

Your dogs, like ours, are part of the family... and as I've said many times... dogs are a better class of people... showing us what unconditional love and loyalty really looks like...

Take care, grieve, and remember the good times...

Dann in Ohio

Six said...

Thanks Dann and please thank your Gals for us as well.

agirlandhergun said...

I sent a couple emails, but I wanted to post here again too. Thinking of you and Lu. Sending hugs and love!

JihadGene said...

God bless you all, very LOOONG time. Kids & dogs especially.

Six said...

Return e-mail on the way and thanks again Girl :)

Appreciated Gene.