I love my bikes. I'm always slavering over the latest and bestest new offerings and machinating over how to upgrade to something that costs approximately the same as an aircraft carrier. There's also some alternatives to the usual two wheels and one rider sitting atop combo most of us are familiar with. I know The MonkeyWrangler likes her recumbents though I have yet to try one.
But this is something new on me.
Talk about a bicycle built for two. I could totally see me and Lu on one of these. Maybe with a nice basket on back for Angus.
Ah, those wacky Poles.
Six
Showing posts with label bicycle. Show all posts
Showing posts with label bicycle. Show all posts
19 August 2013
08 August 2013
It's Going To Be A Good Day
We need something light and cool today. Something to take the edge off all our troubles and remind us all that sometimes 'just because' is all the excuse we need.
Behold Alejandro Paz in all his glory.
I love my mountain bike and hold my own technical skills in no small esteem but this guy makes me look like a 5 year old on training wheels.
I think we need some more of that awesomeness.
Wow. I counted approximately eleventy billion times where I would have wiped out and eaten a face full of dirt. At least.
Remember. It's good to be alive. It's good to live in America. It's good to have friends and family and those who are just so special to us. Ignore for a day your cares and woes and revel in life and love and just being free.
Lu and I send each of you our love and our prayers. May this day be a good one.
Six
Behold Alejandro Paz in all his glory.
I love my mountain bike and hold my own technical skills in no small esteem but this guy makes me look like a 5 year old on training wheels.
I think we need some more of that awesomeness.
Wow. I counted approximately eleventy billion times where I would have wiped out and eaten a face full of dirt. At least.
Remember. It's good to be alive. It's good to live in America. It's good to have friends and family and those who are just so special to us. Ignore for a day your cares and woes and revel in life and love and just being free.
Lu and I send each of you our love and our prayers. May this day be a good one.
Six
23 October 2012
Ok, Lance Doped
It's been all the bicycle news for a while now. The USADA (US Anti Doping Agency) came out with it's report on Lance Armstrong and the US Postal/Discovery Channel bicycling teams and his 7 Tour De France wins. USADA said they found
"the most sophisticated, professionalized and successful doping program that sport has ever seen" Here's the full text of the findings.
USADA banned Lance for life and stripped him of all his results from 1999 to 2005. Lance chose not to appeal the ruling. Caught up in the mess were many current or retired riders of some fame and accomplishment such as Levi Leipheimer and George Hincapie.
Now the UCI has formally stripped Lance of his TDF victories.
The fallout is now getting ugly. Lance has stepped down as the head of the Livestrong Foundation and his sponsors, including Trek, Nike and Radioshack have dropped him like a spent nuclear fuel rod costing him an estimated 35 million dollars in endorsements. Some supporters are asking for their money back and there's talk that the race promoters of the races he won may sue him to get back their payouts. Millions more. Long time sponsors are dropping out.
The biggest hit may be the Cancer research work the Livestrong Foundation supports if donations fall off in light of the revelations on doping.
I am an avid cyclist. I love the sport and follow professional cycling. I know the players and the history and it's a very seedy history indeed. Doping has been an issue for decades. How bad has it been? The UCI, the governing body for the Tour De France, will vacate Lance's wins rather than awarding new winners. Why? Because virtually every other podium winner (Second and Third places) has also been either caught or suspected of doping. To say the UCI didn't know or couldn't have discovered what was happening is Ostrich thinking. The UCI needed Armstrong's wins because the sport was basically maxed out in Europe and the US was wide open and the only real way to grow the sport. That is exactly what happened by the way. A 7 time American winner caused the sport to explode on the North American continent.
There is nothing new in any of this. If you follow any professional sport you will see the same or at least similar. Hell, my own team, the SF Giants, felt the pain of this issue just this year when their number one hitter, Melki Cabrera, got caught juicing. Cycling doesn't have the Performance Enhancing Drugs market all to themselves. They're just in the spotlight at the moment. Not excusing anything, just providing a little perspective because where there's fame and lots and lots of money to be made there will be those who will do anything to get it. Including abject cheating.
What happens now? I watched this years TDF and what I saw strongly suggests that the sport is finally getting a hand on doping. The racing was close, tight and had multiple winners. Just the look on the riders faces was enough to convince me they were suffering mightily. There were no "Superhuman" efforts where a rider simply rode away from everyone else and won a hard stage easily. No one looked head and shoulders better than everyone else. Lots of crashes because the racing was NASCAR like in it's intensity and parity. Anyone could win on any day. An even playing field.
But that's not at the heart of this Lance Armstrong mess. The good work of the Livestrong Foundation is far, far more important than the sport and certainly anyone associated with it. Including a certain former 7 time champion. It's proper to castigate Armstrong personally and maybe even the sport generally but it's unfair to place that same taint on the foundation he helped create. They are raising money for the necessary work being done to find a cure for the scourge of Cancer and the actions by one deceitful and greedy man should not reflect on them. That's what pisses me off the most, that he would risk so much good for his own self aggrandizement.
Yes, I will put away my yellow bracelet. I have now lost any respect I ever had for Lance Armstrong and those who chose to follow him down that dark road. I will mourn for the loss of an American 7 time winner but will take heart that the next generation is coming on and they're racing clean and fast. And if not then I'm Ok with that. the world does not turn on the outcomes of professional sports. My Giants may win the World series and they may lose. Either way my life will go on as before. If the sport of professional cycling ended today I would be unaffected other than a sense of sadness when racing season comes around. We can live without it and them, any of them.
What some of us cannot live without is life saving cancer treatments and the doctors, nurses and researchers who make such a difference in so many lives. I urge you to remember that and forget those who do us all a dishonor by cheating, whatever the sport or pursuit. I promise you that those who raised money in Kilted To Kick Cancer did so without the slightest chemical enhancement. Adult beverages absolutely. Steroids no.
I will continue to ride and follow those teams and riders I like and respect and I will forget the name Lance Armstrong as if he had never existed. I will continue to support the Livestrong Foundation because of what they do, not who's name is on the stationary. I will fight like Susan. My mother's struggle was life and death and the actions of one man, or a host of men, will not mar what she endured.
Because life is so much more important than the cheaters.
Six
"the most sophisticated, professionalized and successful doping program that sport has ever seen" Here's the full text of the findings.
USADA banned Lance for life and stripped him of all his results from 1999 to 2005. Lance chose not to appeal the ruling. Caught up in the mess were many current or retired riders of some fame and accomplishment such as Levi Leipheimer and George Hincapie.
Now the UCI has formally stripped Lance of his TDF victories.
The fallout is now getting ugly. Lance has stepped down as the head of the Livestrong Foundation and his sponsors, including Trek, Nike and Radioshack have dropped him like a spent nuclear fuel rod costing him an estimated 35 million dollars in endorsements. Some supporters are asking for their money back and there's talk that the race promoters of the races he won may sue him to get back their payouts. Millions more. Long time sponsors are dropping out.
The biggest hit may be the Cancer research work the Livestrong Foundation supports if donations fall off in light of the revelations on doping.
I am an avid cyclist. I love the sport and follow professional cycling. I know the players and the history and it's a very seedy history indeed. Doping has been an issue for decades. How bad has it been? The UCI, the governing body for the Tour De France, will vacate Lance's wins rather than awarding new winners. Why? Because virtually every other podium winner (Second and Third places) has also been either caught or suspected of doping. To say the UCI didn't know or couldn't have discovered what was happening is Ostrich thinking. The UCI needed Armstrong's wins because the sport was basically maxed out in Europe and the US was wide open and the only real way to grow the sport. That is exactly what happened by the way. A 7 time American winner caused the sport to explode on the North American continent.
There is nothing new in any of this. If you follow any professional sport you will see the same or at least similar. Hell, my own team, the SF Giants, felt the pain of this issue just this year when their number one hitter, Melki Cabrera, got caught juicing. Cycling doesn't have the Performance Enhancing Drugs market all to themselves. They're just in the spotlight at the moment. Not excusing anything, just providing a little perspective because where there's fame and lots and lots of money to be made there will be those who will do anything to get it. Including abject cheating.
What happens now? I watched this years TDF and what I saw strongly suggests that the sport is finally getting a hand on doping. The racing was close, tight and had multiple winners. Just the look on the riders faces was enough to convince me they were suffering mightily. There were no "Superhuman" efforts where a rider simply rode away from everyone else and won a hard stage easily. No one looked head and shoulders better than everyone else. Lots of crashes because the racing was NASCAR like in it's intensity and parity. Anyone could win on any day. An even playing field.
But that's not at the heart of this Lance Armstrong mess. The good work of the Livestrong Foundation is far, far more important than the sport and certainly anyone associated with it. Including a certain former 7 time champion. It's proper to castigate Armstrong personally and maybe even the sport generally but it's unfair to place that same taint on the foundation he helped create. They are raising money for the necessary work being done to find a cure for the scourge of Cancer and the actions by one deceitful and greedy man should not reflect on them. That's what pisses me off the most, that he would risk so much good for his own self aggrandizement.
Yes, I will put away my yellow bracelet. I have now lost any respect I ever had for Lance Armstrong and those who chose to follow him down that dark road. I will mourn for the loss of an American 7 time winner but will take heart that the next generation is coming on and they're racing clean and fast. And if not then I'm Ok with that. the world does not turn on the outcomes of professional sports. My Giants may win the World series and they may lose. Either way my life will go on as before. If the sport of professional cycling ended today I would be unaffected other than a sense of sadness when racing season comes around. We can live without it and them, any of them.
What some of us cannot live without is life saving cancer treatments and the doctors, nurses and researchers who make such a difference in so many lives. I urge you to remember that and forget those who do us all a dishonor by cheating, whatever the sport or pursuit. I promise you that those who raised money in Kilted To Kick Cancer did so without the slightest chemical enhancement. Adult beverages absolutely. Steroids no.
I will continue to ride and follow those teams and riders I like and respect and I will forget the name Lance Armstrong as if he had never existed. I will continue to support the Livestrong Foundation because of what they do, not who's name is on the stationary. I will fight like Susan. My mother's struggle was life and death and the actions of one man, or a host of men, will not mar what she endured.
Because life is so much more important than the cheaters.
Six
Steroids? Never heard of 'em.
12 October 2012
He Might Be Better Than Me
Just a little.
That's Martyn Ashton on a $16,000 Pinarello Dogma 2. The fence ride was what impressed me. And I can't even jump a curb anymore.
Six
That's Martyn Ashton on a $16,000 Pinarello Dogma 2. The fence ride was what impressed me. And I can't even jump a curb anymore.
Six
02 October 2012
Bike Rack
Lu and I are avid bicyclists, both on and off road. We currently have bikes for both disciplines which means four bicycles to store when not in use. My garage/shop is 32 feet long but only 14 wide. Which means it can tend to be a bit crowded. Especially when one is hip deep in a complete house renovation that will take a year and a lot of tools and materials. Yes, I am a bit...disorganized. I needed to get those bikes out of the way and off my floor.
Time for a bike rack. But for anyone who knows me or has read my DIY project write ups you know I don't go for simple. Oh no. Complex and needlessly difficult are my hallmarks. So.
I decided the bikes would fit best on a wall so I started with a 4x8 sheet of Oriented Strand Board (OSB). I mounted it against a wall. This will form the base of my Bicycle Storage System. Note the adjacent shelf for bicycle paraphernalia such as tubes, helmets, etc. Later I'll get a bike vise which will go on the other side of the rack.
Ok. I wanted to hang the bikes on a hook system mounted to the OSB. I went with rebar because it's both easy to work with and very cheap. In fact the local steel shop had an 8 foot length laying around that they gave me for free. I wanted 3/8s but this is 1/2. Hey free is free.
First up, a way to mount the rebar hooks to the OSB. I cut and welded two Z hooks together. (Yes, that is my case tumbler back there. I do my case cleaning outside. See Brigid? I actually listened to your good advice. Proof that old dogs really can learn new tricks.). Please bear in mind that my welding is pretty much the same as my view on life. Bull your way through and more is better. Pretty my welds are not but I get there by sheer exuberance and stubbornness. Besides, I have a perfectly good grinder right there.
I measured how far up the OSB I needed the rack to be and drilled two 3/4 inch holes. The Z brackets fit into the holes and lock down with the weight of the bikes.
I test fitted the brackets to make sure I got it right and measured for a small nub at the bottom which will keep the bracket parallel to the OSB.
The final brackets.
And this is how they look installed. The top of the Z bracket locks in to the back of the OSB and holds everything up. Very secure.
From there I welded in a cross piece to tie the two brackets together and give me a way to mount the hooks for the bikes.
Time for the hooks. I wanted 3/8s rebar so I could bend some J hooks. I got 1/2 inch instead. And my oxygen tank is currently empty. And I have absolutely zero patience. And I love to weld. And I'm not the brightest light in the night sky. So I cut and welded up four J-ish hooks instead and then welded them to the cross bar in the mount.
Here's the finished rack mounted to the OSB. Note that the two hooks on the left face right and the two on the right face left. They're also at slightly different angles to limit bicycle entanglement when they're all mounted. I wrapped the J-hooks with black electrical tape because it works well and I'm really cheap. The hooks are at a height that Lu can easily access. She's a shortie you know. Love you sweetie :)
Time to try it out. The bike wheel hooks under the J-hook and both tires lay flat against the OSB. This is our biggest bicycle (No fat guy jokes!) so if the hooks hold it they'll hold the others easily.
It all looked good so it was time to put it to the real test. All four bikes. They go in alternating rear and front wheels in the J-hooks so everything fits neatly.
Not too bad. I'm able to fit in 4 full sized bicycles in a four foot wide space that only juts into my garage about another four feet. Some of you who are sharper eyed may notice that the top of the OSB is leaning out just a bit. That was an oversight on my part. The center two cross braces in the building framing are 4 inches while the top is 2. I later corrected it by putting two long bolts through the top of the OSB and into the top brace. The top is now straight and supported.
All in all I'm pleased with how it turned out. It may not be the most elegant design and it certainly could be done better but it works well and cost me a grand total of 8 bucks for the OSB and a couple of hours of time. The bikes are easy to mount and take down and keep them away from the main shop area.
Of course there's costs and then there's costs. Remember kids, welded stuff gets kinda hot. Best not to touch it. Or blunder stupidly into it whilst tripping over crap you've left on the floor. Not that that's what happened to me. Nope. Just saying is all.
Hey, if I didn't bleed while doing it it's not a true Six project.
Six
Time for a bike rack. But for anyone who knows me or has read my DIY project write ups you know I don't go for simple. Oh no. Complex and needlessly difficult are my hallmarks. So.
I decided the bikes would fit best on a wall so I started with a 4x8 sheet of Oriented Strand Board (OSB). I mounted it against a wall. This will form the base of my Bicycle Storage System. Note the adjacent shelf for bicycle paraphernalia such as tubes, helmets, etc. Later I'll get a bike vise which will go on the other side of the rack.
Ok. I wanted to hang the bikes on a hook system mounted to the OSB. I went with rebar because it's both easy to work with and very cheap. In fact the local steel shop had an 8 foot length laying around that they gave me for free. I wanted 3/8s but this is 1/2. Hey free is free.
First up, a way to mount the rebar hooks to the OSB. I cut and welded two Z hooks together. (Yes, that is my case tumbler back there. I do my case cleaning outside. See Brigid? I actually listened to your good advice. Proof that old dogs really can learn new tricks.). Please bear in mind that my welding is pretty much the same as my view on life. Bull your way through and more is better. Pretty my welds are not but I get there by sheer exuberance and stubbornness. Besides, I have a perfectly good grinder right there.
I measured how far up the OSB I needed the rack to be and drilled two 3/4 inch holes. The Z brackets fit into the holes and lock down with the weight of the bikes.
I test fitted the brackets to make sure I got it right and measured for a small nub at the bottom which will keep the bracket parallel to the OSB.
The final brackets.
And this is how they look installed. The top of the Z bracket locks in to the back of the OSB and holds everything up. Very secure.
From there I welded in a cross piece to tie the two brackets together and give me a way to mount the hooks for the bikes.
Time for the hooks. I wanted 3/8s rebar so I could bend some J hooks. I got 1/2 inch instead. And my oxygen tank is currently empty. And I have absolutely zero patience. And I love to weld. And I'm not the brightest light in the night sky. So I cut and welded up four J-ish hooks instead and then welded them to the cross bar in the mount.
Here's the finished rack mounted to the OSB. Note that the two hooks on the left face right and the two on the right face left. They're also at slightly different angles to limit bicycle entanglement when they're all mounted. I wrapped the J-hooks with black electrical tape because it works well and I'm really cheap. The hooks are at a height that Lu can easily access. She's a shortie you know. Love you sweetie :)
Time to try it out. The bike wheel hooks under the J-hook and both tires lay flat against the OSB. This is our biggest bicycle (No fat guy jokes!) so if the hooks hold it they'll hold the others easily.
It all looked good so it was time to put it to the real test. All four bikes. They go in alternating rear and front wheels in the J-hooks so everything fits neatly.
Not too bad. I'm able to fit in 4 full sized bicycles in a four foot wide space that only juts into my garage about another four feet. Some of you who are sharper eyed may notice that the top of the OSB is leaning out just a bit. That was an oversight on my part. The center two cross braces in the building framing are 4 inches while the top is 2. I later corrected it by putting two long bolts through the top of the OSB and into the top brace. The top is now straight and supported.
All in all I'm pleased with how it turned out. It may not be the most elegant design and it certainly could be done better but it works well and cost me a grand total of 8 bucks for the OSB and a couple of hours of time. The bikes are easy to mount and take down and keep them away from the main shop area.
Of course there's costs and then there's costs. Remember kids, welded stuff gets kinda hot. Best not to touch it. Or blunder stupidly into it whilst tripping over crap you've left on the floor. Not that that's what happened to me. Nope. Just saying is all.
Hey, if I didn't bleed while doing it it's not a true Six project.
Six
09 July 2012
Back
I got back to the homestead yesterday afternoon. It was a great ride, just what I needed. Give me a day or two to get my bearings back and I'll do some posts about the ride. It was great to spend a couple of days on the open road with Car Guy and no place we had to be. BigBandido ran great, we had no extreme weather and even saw an ET. Yep.
See you tomorrow.
Six
See you tomorrow.
Six
30 June 2012
Tour De France
It's time for the Tour De France again. Ok, I admit it. I'm a fan. I'll spend way more time over the next three weeks watching skinny men ride bicycles up ginormous mountains than I should. Lu and I have been following the Tour for a decade now. We've seen it go from a doping contest to something where any good rider can hope to win. 2173 miles divided up into flat, mountainous and time trial stages. It's the biggest race of the season and the one all the professional riders want to show well in.
Last year Cadel Evans, a good man and a great rider, captured the top spot. This year? I think the field is as wide open as it's ever been. The sports efforts to weed out the cheating has paid off in races that are actually races as opposed to showcases for those willing to bend the rules farthest.
My pick this year? I'm going with Cadel again. He seems to be in about the same place, conditioning and preparation wise, as he was last year. I also think he's got the strongest team and the best support staff. He's a man who can do it all and he has a great heart. Besides, I just like him. His biggest competition will probably come from Bradley Wiggins who dominated while winning theTour De Suisse Criterium Du Dauphine just a few weeks ago. Frank Schleck finds himself without his brother Andy to help and on a team that is in the process of destroying itself. I'm picking Sagan over Cavendish in the green jersey points competition and I'm even picking him to spank the Manx Missile in the sprints.
The best Americans should be Levi Leipheimer and Chris Horner. Neither will win but either could find themselves on the podium which would be a fine showing this year. Look for TJ Van Garderen to take the white jersey as the best young rider (under 26 years old) which would be a fantastic result for this very young and coming rider. TJ will eventually be a contender in this race.
As I write this the Prologue is done and both Evans and Wiggins are perfectly placed for Stage 1. Fabulous Fabian Cancellara won as expected but both Leipheimer and Horner didn't do too well. Van Garderen is in white (I'm a genius!). We'll just have to see. It's a very long race.
Ok, enough bicycle geekery for now.
Six
Last year Cadel Evans, a good man and a great rider, captured the top spot. This year? I think the field is as wide open as it's ever been. The sports efforts to weed out the cheating has paid off in races that are actually races as opposed to showcases for those willing to bend the rules farthest.
My pick this year? I'm going with Cadel again. He seems to be in about the same place, conditioning and preparation wise, as he was last year. I also think he's got the strongest team and the best support staff. He's a man who can do it all and he has a great heart. Besides, I just like him. His biggest competition will probably come from Bradley Wiggins who dominated while winning the
The best Americans should be Levi Leipheimer and Chris Horner. Neither will win but either could find themselves on the podium which would be a fine showing this year. Look for TJ Van Garderen to take the white jersey as the best young rider (under 26 years old) which would be a fantastic result for this very young and coming rider. TJ will eventually be a contender in this race.
As I write this the Prologue is done and both Evans and Wiggins are perfectly placed for Stage 1. Fabulous Fabian Cancellara won as expected but both Leipheimer and Horner didn't do too well. Van Garderen is in white (I'm a genius!). We'll just have to see. It's a very long race.
Ok, enough bicycle geekery for now.
Six
26 June 2012
Things I Don't Understand
Having just had my mumbledyfiftysomethingishmumble birthday a couple of days ago I realize that I am officially ensconced in the 'late middle aged' category. Some might be so insensitive as to imply that I am in 'incipient grumpy old guy' territory but only the truly cruel. Or maybe Lu.
But I'm totally Ok with that. My view is that age is just a number but complaints about my gallbladder are forever. And cool. I still consider myself a bit of an athlete, albeit a slow and inept one. I still lift, ride and walk Angus around the block. Of course I don't lift as much, ride as far or walk any faster than an octogenarian poodle but I'm still out there, sweating and grunting my way through exertions that my grandkids would giggle at.
Which is why this whole Strava thing puzzles me. Oh not in an "I don't understand the technology" way, though that is always a concern. I mean, I don't Twitch or Faceplant or any of those social media things these kids today are doing. My cellphone is a hundred years old and my car won't talk to me no matter how long I hold my breath.
Anyway. The basic premise is that you attach one of those new fangled devices like GPS or Strawberry or OCD to your bicycle (or body. Apparently Strava also works for runners though I'm not real clear about how to attach the things to your legs and still get them to work. Glue maybe? Does screaming, involuntary leg waxing hold any meaning for you?). Then you go for a ride. Afterward you upload your ride information to Strava so everyone else in the civilized world (and parts of Indiana) can see how you did. Doesn't that sound like fun? Me neither. I think it sounds like an incredible amount of work to allow strangers you'll never meet to digitally pat you on the head and say "That was a very nice try. Why don't you take up something a little more in line with your abilities? Like paper mache maybe."
The idea of paying for gadgets to attach to my bicycle and then uploading my rides for all the world to see and make fun of sounds a lot like performing dental surgery on myself. Yeah, if I'm going to be subjected to that much pain and ridicule there better be nitrous oxide and a whole lot of ice cream involved.
I'm old and slow. I know it, you know it and everyone who's ever seen me puffing up a slight incline, looking for all the world like a red faced, geriatric gorilla on his last legs knows it. Why would I put that out for the world to see? Humiliation? Hey, I get enough of that at home. I do not need to see these comments;
"Hey Six, the idea is to ride the bike not push it."
"It's really motivating to see someone who's 90 still out there riding. Keep up the great work!"
"Try putting air in the tires."
"The ambulance is on the way. Just hang on and take deep breaths."
"My grandpa is faster than you and he's been dead for three years."
"What a maroon."
And so on.
No no no. I will not be an adapter of this technology. Instead, I propose a new program for monitoring and sharing your athletic endeavors. Something that will allow you to...let's just say 'fudge' your results. Nothing evil just minor 'corrections' and 're-evaluations of the data' that will make you look more like Lance Armstrong and less like Infarctus, the bicycle riding Hippo.
And we will call that program Anthropogenic Global Warming. No, wait. That's already been taken. How about WILTY as in Would I Lie To You? Yeah, that's the ticket.
Instead of taking your ride directly from an electronic device (because we all know what liars those things are) WILTY will allow you to input the data directly and then change it as others chime in with their own factually challenged ride profiles so you can always be King of the Mountain. For instance.
You've just ridden Death Hill. It took you approximately forever. You stopped along the ride 74 times to catch your breath, take a drink of your PopsoEnergoHeartattacko sports fluid, re-start your heart with a portable defibrillator and generally wonder what could have possibly motivated you to spend 5 hours of your Saturday sweating and cursing when you could have been watching womens steeplechase and eating Cheetos from the comfort of your Barcalounger with the built in massage feature (happy ending optional). Is that really your fault? Isn't it really society's fault? Don't you think that if you had really wanted to you could have sped up that hill like you were a meth fueled rocket? I do too but don't worry, I'm here for you. And with WILTY it's easy as pie. Key Lime. Maybe with a 128 ounce Mountain Dew Slam.
Let's enter something a little closer to the truth as it should be if we were just a little less lardish. Like, say 23 minutes, 47.35 seconds. There, see how easy that was? Now, instead of painful remarks about your woeful inability to actually propel a bicycle in a forward direction you'll be inundated with comments like these;
"Wow!"
"Awesome!"
"You beat that hill like a like you were wielding a magic Hockey Stick!"
"Cheating bastard, I hope you die screaming!"
Ignore that last one. There's always one rabbit pellet in every Key Lime Pie. And the best part of WILTY is that when FatBob from Bloatsville, Arkansas posts his ride time up Death Hill as 23 minutes 47.25 seconds you can quickly update your latest ride to just edge him out because you just know FatBob is a lying sack of crap and screw him if he can't take a joke. I mean, you don't even have to ride it because you've got better things to do than wedge a cubic yard of Spandex up your fourth point of contact while trying to max out the coronary rider on your health insurance and besides, you'd have totally nailed that ride if you'd just, you know, actually ridden it. It's the thought that counts anyway.
Now, instead of looking like a total bicycle maroon you will now seem to be a Steroidal Bicycle Deity with shades of Awesome Tour De Somewhere Badassery thrown in just for fun. Isn't that better? Of course it is. Remember, it's not a lie as long as you believe it. And by you, of course, I mean anyone gullible who logs on and views your ride times.
All this can be yours for the low low, one time only, get it before they're gone, up to 50% off and more, low down low payments, I promise nothing untoward will happen in your mouth, offer not valid anywhere that has electricity, double your money back if not satisfied (no, not really) price of $49.95. Checks payable to my barrister, the Honorable John BigBooty, c/o the Interior Ministry, Lagos, Nigeria.
It'll totally work. I swear. Would I Lie To You?
Now I just need someone with mad Haxxor computer skills and ambiguous ethics. Hey Borepatch and Keads. You guys doing anything this weekend?
Six
But I'm totally Ok with that. My view is that age is just a number but complaints about my gallbladder are forever. And cool. I still consider myself a bit of an athlete, albeit a slow and inept one. I still lift, ride and walk Angus around the block. Of course I don't lift as much, ride as far or walk any faster than an octogenarian poodle but I'm still out there, sweating and grunting my way through exertions that my grandkids would giggle at.
Which is why this whole Strava thing puzzles me. Oh not in an "I don't understand the technology" way, though that is always a concern. I mean, I don't Twitch or Faceplant or any of those social media things these kids today are doing. My cellphone is a hundred years old and my car won't talk to me no matter how long I hold my breath.
Anyway. The basic premise is that you attach one of those new fangled devices like GPS or Strawberry or OCD to your bicycle (or body. Apparently Strava also works for runners though I'm not real clear about how to attach the things to your legs and still get them to work. Glue maybe? Does screaming, involuntary leg waxing hold any meaning for you?). Then you go for a ride. Afterward you upload your ride information to Strava so everyone else in the civilized world (and parts of Indiana) can see how you did. Doesn't that sound like fun? Me neither. I think it sounds like an incredible amount of work to allow strangers you'll never meet to digitally pat you on the head and say "That was a very nice try. Why don't you take up something a little more in line with your abilities? Like paper mache maybe."
The idea of paying for gadgets to attach to my bicycle and then uploading my rides for all the world to see and make fun of sounds a lot like performing dental surgery on myself. Yeah, if I'm going to be subjected to that much pain and ridicule there better be nitrous oxide and a whole lot of ice cream involved.
I'm old and slow. I know it, you know it and everyone who's ever seen me puffing up a slight incline, looking for all the world like a red faced, geriatric gorilla on his last legs knows it. Why would I put that out for the world to see? Humiliation? Hey, I get enough of that at home. I do not need to see these comments;
"Hey Six, the idea is to ride the bike not push it."
"It's really motivating to see someone who's 90 still out there riding. Keep up the great work!"
"Try putting air in the tires."
"The ambulance is on the way. Just hang on and take deep breaths."
"My grandpa is faster than you and he's been dead for three years."
"What a maroon."
And so on.
No no no. I will not be an adapter of this technology. Instead, I propose a new program for monitoring and sharing your athletic endeavors. Something that will allow you to...let's just say 'fudge' your results. Nothing evil just minor 'corrections' and 're-evaluations of the data' that will make you look more like Lance Armstrong and less like Infarctus, the bicycle riding Hippo.
And we will call that program Anthropogenic Global Warming. No, wait. That's already been taken. How about WILTY as in Would I Lie To You? Yeah, that's the ticket.
Instead of taking your ride directly from an electronic device (because we all know what liars those things are) WILTY will allow you to input the data directly and then change it as others chime in with their own factually challenged ride profiles so you can always be King of the Mountain. For instance.
You've just ridden Death Hill. It took you approximately forever. You stopped along the ride 74 times to catch your breath, take a drink of your PopsoEnergoHeartattacko sports fluid, re-start your heart with a portable defibrillator and generally wonder what could have possibly motivated you to spend 5 hours of your Saturday sweating and cursing when you could have been watching womens steeplechase and eating Cheetos from the comfort of your Barcalounger with the built in massage feature (happy ending optional). Is that really your fault? Isn't it really society's fault? Don't you think that if you had really wanted to you could have sped up that hill like you were a meth fueled rocket? I do too but don't worry, I'm here for you. And with WILTY it's easy as pie. Key Lime. Maybe with a 128 ounce Mountain Dew Slam.
Let's enter something a little closer to the truth as it should be if we were just a little less lardish. Like, say 23 minutes, 47.35 seconds. There, see how easy that was? Now, instead of painful remarks about your woeful inability to actually propel a bicycle in a forward direction you'll be inundated with comments like these;
"Wow!"
"Awesome!"
"You beat that hill like a like you were wielding a magic Hockey Stick!"
"Cheating bastard, I hope you die screaming!"
Ignore that last one. There's always one rabbit pellet in every Key Lime Pie. And the best part of WILTY is that when FatBob from Bloatsville, Arkansas posts his ride time up Death Hill as 23 minutes 47.25 seconds you can quickly update your latest ride to just edge him out because you just know FatBob is a lying sack of crap and screw him if he can't take a joke. I mean, you don't even have to ride it because you've got better things to do than wedge a cubic yard of Spandex up your fourth point of contact while trying to max out the coronary rider on your health insurance and besides, you'd have totally nailed that ride if you'd just, you know, actually ridden it. It's the thought that counts anyway.
Now, instead of looking like a total bicycle maroon you will now seem to be a Steroidal Bicycle Deity with shades of Awesome Tour De Somewhere Badassery thrown in just for fun. Isn't that better? Of course it is. Remember, it's not a lie as long as you believe it. And by you, of course, I mean anyone gullible who logs on and views your ride times.
All this can be yours for the low low, one time only, get it before they're gone, up to 50% off and more, low down low payments, I promise nothing untoward will happen in your mouth, offer not valid anywhere that has electricity, double your money back if not satisfied (no, not really) price of $49.95. Checks payable to my barrister, the Honorable John BigBooty, c/o the Interior Ministry, Lagos, Nigeria.
It'll totally work. I swear. Would I Lie To You?
Now I just need someone with mad Haxxor computer skills and ambiguous ethics. Hey Borepatch and Keads. You guys doing anything this weekend?
Six
16 May 2012
Jem Trail With The Kids
With the kids having a few weeks on two wheels to practice and hone their skills it was time for the next step. Trail ride. We chose the Jem Trail because there's a very nice section of double track/ fire road that's pretty flat (considering it in the actual mountains) with a little loop of single track that's as non-technical as you can get out here. The kids loved it. I am positively giddy with delight. They took to it immediately, flying down declines, swooping over whoops, standing up and taking on ruts head on and powering up inclines. It was a ball. Both of them even crashed a couple of times. No tears, just dusted themselves off and on to the next section of trail. No whines, no crying, no complaints. Just good old fashioned fun in the dirt and a couple of band-aids.
Warning: the word awesome will be used extensively in this post.
The day was bright, hot and clear. As you can see here, The Boy jumped into the lead right out of the gate and stayed there the whole day. Angus spent most of the day running back and forth between the two groups. We guys were naturally way more awesome of course. "Hey, you guys coming or what?"
There was one climb that was just a bit beyond them and they ended up pushing. It was all good as Angus promptly went back to show them how it was done.
This is where you turn off the double track and pick up the single. It was also where we had the endos that I was afraid was going to screw up the entire day. Biker chicks are so awesome.
Aftermath of the endo. Ok, here's Lu and The Princess at the endo site. Here's what happened. If you look closely you can see there's a small drop off just behind the girls. It's probably 6 feet down, not too steep, then flattens out and goes into a great little berm. At the bottom of the drop there's some soft dirt. I explained how to traverse the obstacle and then demonstrated it. The Boy sailed through but The Princess hit the soft dirt and promptly went right over the handlebars. It wasn't serious, just a slightly skinned knee, though it was awesome (sorry, it just was). I freaked thinking this was going to be it. She'd walk back to the truck and never ride again. Nope. She made the pain face, checked herself out, then remounted and rode on. This pic was just after the crash. The Princess and Lu were still discussing the spectacular endo and how to get around the berm. Have I mentioned how cool biker chicks are?
Both of the girls decided that discretion was the better part of valor and walked the berm. Of course they did have the benefit of watching The Boy make the attempt. I did mention two endos? Well this was where The Boy ate it. He got about halfway through the berm but didn't have enough speed and augured in at the mid point. It wasn't so much an endo as a get off but it was pretty cool. The Boy is getting to the point where he truly appreciates a really spectacular crash. Even his own.
The end of a really great day. The kids are now certified mountain bikers. Next year we'll be upgrading from those cheap big box bikes to something much better with suspension and good hand brakes. At this age the first thing that flies out of their heads in a braking situation is the ability to actually brake. Good hand brakes will go a long way toward alleviating that. We ended the day with ice cream at the local DQ. Nothing tastes better than after ride soft serve with a side of good, clean dirt.
Since these pictures were taken I took The boy out to the trail for another run. He fell heavily twice but both times popped right back up, dusted himself off and took off again. He also made the berm. The Boy is really learning how to ride. The great thing is that both of them love to ride. They've made approximately a million laps of the circular driveway and are now riding to school, which they seem to think is awesomely awesome beans.
Hey, only a few more days before they have to go home to Florida. We need at least one more good Jem Trail ride. See you guys later. We're going for a ride.
Six
Warning: the word awesome will be used extensively in this post.
The day was bright, hot and clear. As you can see here, The Boy jumped into the lead right out of the gate and stayed there the whole day. Angus spent most of the day running back and forth between the two groups. We guys were naturally way more awesome of course. "Hey, you guys coming or what?"
There was one climb that was just a bit beyond them and they ended up pushing. It was all good as Angus promptly went back to show them how it was done.
This is where you turn off the double track and pick up the single. It was also where we had the endos that I was afraid was going to screw up the entire day. Biker chicks are so awesome.
Aftermath of the endo. Ok, here's Lu and The Princess at the endo site. Here's what happened. If you look closely you can see there's a small drop off just behind the girls. It's probably 6 feet down, not too steep, then flattens out and goes into a great little berm. At the bottom of the drop there's some soft dirt. I explained how to traverse the obstacle and then demonstrated it. The Boy sailed through but The Princess hit the soft dirt and promptly went right over the handlebars. It wasn't serious, just a slightly skinned knee, though it was awesome (sorry, it just was). I freaked thinking this was going to be it. She'd walk back to the truck and never ride again. Nope. She made the pain face, checked herself out, then remounted and rode on. This pic was just after the crash. The Princess and Lu were still discussing the spectacular endo and how to get around the berm. Have I mentioned how cool biker chicks are?
Both of the girls decided that discretion was the better part of valor and walked the berm. Of course they did have the benefit of watching The Boy make the attempt. I did mention two endos? Well this was where The Boy ate it. He got about halfway through the berm but didn't have enough speed and augured in at the mid point. It wasn't so much an endo as a get off but it was pretty cool. The Boy is getting to the point where he truly appreciates a really spectacular crash. Even his own.
The end of a really great day. The kids are now certified mountain bikers. Next year we'll be upgrading from those cheap big box bikes to something much better with suspension and good hand brakes. At this age the first thing that flies out of their heads in a braking situation is the ability to actually brake. Good hand brakes will go a long way toward alleviating that. We ended the day with ice cream at the local DQ. Nothing tastes better than after ride soft serve with a side of good, clean dirt.
Since these pictures were taken I took The boy out to the trail for another run. He fell heavily twice but both times popped right back up, dusted himself off and took off again. He also made the berm. The Boy is really learning how to ride. The great thing is that both of them love to ride. They've made approximately a million laps of the circular driveway and are now riding to school, which they seem to think is awesomely awesome beans.
Hey, only a few more days before they have to go home to Florida. We need at least one more good Jem Trail ride. See you guys later. We're going for a ride.
Six
06 April 2012
Firsts
There are firsts for all things. Sometimes they're good sometimes not so much but as we trundle along the path of life we will experience many. They tend to get get fewer and farther between as we get older but there are still chances for new experiences. Sometimes the real joy from a first is not personal but rather the opportunity to watch someone else conquering a particularly difficult task and enjoying the thrill of victory. I had just such a moment yesterday and it's thanks to my daughter and The Boy.
He's motivated. He has a cousin who's his same age and has become his best friend. They are in the same kindergarten class and live within a block of each other. The Cousin has mastered the art of the bicycle and The Boy wanted, needed, to do the same. He asked me to take off his pedals because that's how The Cousin did it so obviously that was The Way. So I took off his pedals, right down to the cranks and modified the seat so he could reach the ground with his feet and we had an impromptu pusher bicycle. And he practiced. Oh how he practiced. Until he learned the Art and Secret of balance.
He did about a thousand laps of the driveway, pushing his bike and learning control. Then it happened. The day before yesterday he decided he was ready and asked me to put his pedals back on. And suddenly he was riding. All by himself.
He's still learning the pitfalls of not looking down and obstacles and brakes but he's riding, pedals and all.
It's a big day in his life, bigger than he can know. It's about so much more than mastering a technique. It's about limits and freedom and acceptance of risk. It's about the joy that comes with a hard earned victory. It's about confidence and finding out you really can if you put your mind to it and try very, very hard.
He's already talking about riding to school and his first trail adventure with Papa. I can't keep him off the thing. It's very much like the first flush of love. His confidence has soared and entire new vistas of possibilities have opened up before him. Each flavored with the tangy spice of freedom.
I am so very proud of you my grandson. Thank you my beloved daughter for allowing me this. Words cannot express how I feel. I don't have a lot of firsts left in my life and this is one I will treasure until the day I die.
And yet that joy is tinged with a certain sorrow. They grow up so fast. Time speeds by us unseen and unheeded. God willing there will be many more firsts in his life. Many more mountains to climb and obstacles to conquer. More new experiences to enjoy and learn from. There will be sorrow and soaring highs.
But for now I will bask in his reflected warm glow of accomplishment and share in his joy. My grandson and his bike. I think I'll go for a ride.
With my Boy.
Six
He's motivated. He has a cousin who's his same age and has become his best friend. They are in the same kindergarten class and live within a block of each other. The Cousin has mastered the art of the bicycle and The Boy wanted, needed, to do the same. He asked me to take off his pedals because that's how The Cousin did it so obviously that was The Way. So I took off his pedals, right down to the cranks and modified the seat so he could reach the ground with his feet and we had an impromptu pusher bicycle. And he practiced. Oh how he practiced. Until he learned the Art and Secret of balance.
He did about a thousand laps of the driveway, pushing his bike and learning control. Then it happened. The day before yesterday he decided he was ready and asked me to put his pedals back on. And suddenly he was riding. All by himself.
He's still learning the pitfalls of not looking down and obstacles and brakes but he's riding, pedals and all.
It's a big day in his life, bigger than he can know. It's about so much more than mastering a technique. It's about limits and freedom and acceptance of risk. It's about the joy that comes with a hard earned victory. It's about confidence and finding out you really can if you put your mind to it and try very, very hard.
He's already talking about riding to school and his first trail adventure with Papa. I can't keep him off the thing. It's very much like the first flush of love. His confidence has soared and entire new vistas of possibilities have opened up before him. Each flavored with the tangy spice of freedom.
I am so very proud of you my grandson. Thank you my beloved daughter for allowing me this. Words cannot express how I feel. I don't have a lot of firsts left in my life and this is one I will treasure until the day I die.
And yet that joy is tinged with a certain sorrow. They grow up so fast. Time speeds by us unseen and unheeded. God willing there will be many more firsts in his life. Many more mountains to climb and obstacles to conquer. More new experiences to enjoy and learn from. There will be sorrow and soaring highs.
But for now I will bask in his reflected warm glow of accomplishment and share in his joy. My grandson and his bike. I think I'll go for a ride.
With my Boy.
Six
20 March 2012
It's Spring! Gooseberry Mesa
The weather is starting to warm and our rainy season is now mostly over. It's time to get the bikes out, knock off the rust and get riding again. Toward that end, last weekend Lu and I went to one of my favorite places; Gooseberry Mesa.
Gooseberry is one of the most beautiful and technical rides anywhere. It's become a destination ride location for mountain bikers from across the country. It's also about half an hour from my front door. Yeah, there are some benefits from living in Southern Utah. Here's a good link for the ride.
We loaded up and headed out on Saturday. The weather was bright, warm and clear. We decided on Windmill Trail. This was Lu's first visit and only my second. The first was with Car Guy a few years ago. Since that time he's become an MTB master who can ride me into the ground. I'm counting on the elevation working to my benefit when he visits again and I bring him back up here.
First up the obligatory touristy picture. Hi Lu! Isn't she cute?
Why is it called the Windmill Trail? I have no idea but this structure is at the trail head.
Six, you get down from there immediately! Have you lost your mind? Er wait...Lu? Kids, can't take them anywhere. You'd think she'd know better than that. And be more mature. And stop teasing me about being a big sissy.
Windmill runs along the west side of the mesa with 1000 foot drop offs and spectacular vistas.
As I said the trail runs right along the rim edge. It's fun but you do have to exercise at least a modicum of caution.
Hey, I said exercise a modicum of caution! Sheesh, she really is making me look like a weenie.
It's not all rim riding. Most of the trails are either moderate or advanced technical. Fun but dicey at times. I endo'd at least once (that I will admit publicly). That's Lu coming out of the trees and approaching a rough section of singletrack.
Which she cleaned! Steady guys, she's taken.
There are steps and stairs everywhere. Fun going down but going up? Not so much. Luckily we hit at least as many step downs as climbs. The ride is slow but full of great obstacles and fantastic terrain.
It's not all breathtaking views and technical trail. We hit some doubletrack and fire road on the way back. Fast if a bit boring.
The trail ends back at the windmill. I took a few more photos of the works.
I have no idea who Red jacket is. Don't they have a TV show?
The pump has lines that run to a concrete cistern.
Which is old enough that it's collapsed. The mesa is at 5200 feet and is in the middle of nowhere. Everything used to build this site was trucked or otherwise carried in by hand. I have absolutely no idea what the water table is here or to what use they put the water pumped though I suspect it was cattle based. 8 feet wide, 15 long and 5 deep.
Yes, I was actually there and here's the proof. That's me standing on the cliff edge and most definitely NOT being a big wiener.
It was our first MTB ride of the year and a good excuse to scout the trails. The Car Guy and his lovely wife will be visiting soon and bringing me my new bike! When he upgraded I bought his Giant full suspension to replace my rigid frame Gary Fisher. As soon as I get my sweaty paws on it the Fisher will be finding a new home. We had a great time and even stopped for lunch at a small stop&rob/diner just down the road in Apple Valley. The food was so so but the menu was all firearms and famous gun guys related. When they come I'll do another post and get some photos of that menu. It's classic and a sure sign I'm now living in Free America.
Six
Gooseberry is one of the most beautiful and technical rides anywhere. It's become a destination ride location for mountain bikers from across the country. It's also about half an hour from my front door. Yeah, there are some benefits from living in Southern Utah. Here's a good link for the ride.
We loaded up and headed out on Saturday. The weather was bright, warm and clear. We decided on Windmill Trail. This was Lu's first visit and only my second. The first was with Car Guy a few years ago. Since that time he's become an MTB master who can ride me into the ground. I'm counting on the elevation working to my benefit when he visits again and I bring him back up here.
First up the obligatory touristy picture. Hi Lu! Isn't she cute?
Why is it called the Windmill Trail? I have no idea but this structure is at the trail head.
Six, you get down from there immediately! Have you lost your mind? Er wait...Lu? Kids, can't take them anywhere. You'd think she'd know better than that. And be more mature. And stop teasing me about being a big sissy.
Windmill runs along the west side of the mesa with 1000 foot drop offs and spectacular vistas.
As I said the trail runs right along the rim edge. It's fun but you do have to exercise at least a modicum of caution.
Hey, I said exercise a modicum of caution! Sheesh, she really is making me look like a weenie.
It's not all rim riding. Most of the trails are either moderate or advanced technical. Fun but dicey at times. I endo'd at least once (that I will admit publicly). That's Lu coming out of the trees and approaching a rough section of singletrack.
Which she cleaned! Steady guys, she's taken.
There are steps and stairs everywhere. Fun going down but going up? Not so much. Luckily we hit at least as many step downs as climbs. The ride is slow but full of great obstacles and fantastic terrain.
It's not all breathtaking views and technical trail. We hit some doubletrack and fire road on the way back. Fast if a bit boring.
The trail ends back at the windmill. I took a few more photos of the works.
I have no idea who Red jacket is. Don't they have a TV show?
The pump has lines that run to a concrete cistern.
Which is old enough that it's collapsed. The mesa is at 5200 feet and is in the middle of nowhere. Everything used to build this site was trucked or otherwise carried in by hand. I have absolutely no idea what the water table is here or to what use they put the water pumped though I suspect it was cattle based. 8 feet wide, 15 long and 5 deep.
Yes, I was actually there and here's the proof. That's me standing on the cliff edge and most definitely NOT being a big wiener.
It was our first MTB ride of the year and a good excuse to scout the trails. The Car Guy and his lovely wife will be visiting soon and bringing me my new bike! When he upgraded I bought his Giant full suspension to replace my rigid frame Gary Fisher. As soon as I get my sweaty paws on it the Fisher will be finding a new home. We had a great time and even stopped for lunch at a small stop&rob/diner just down the road in Apple Valley. The food was so so but the menu was all firearms and famous gun guys related. When they come I'll do another post and get some photos of that menu. It's classic and a sure sign I'm now living in Free America.
Six
19 July 2011
Drugs And Bicycles
I'm a cyclist. I love my bicycle. As I've aged and the injuries from repetitive lifting have gotten easier to suffer and harder to heal my bicycle has become my number one source of exercise.
I found out a few years ago that I also like to watch competitive riding, including the Tour de France. The problem is that professional bike riders are synonymous with performance enhancing drugs. The drug of choice is EPO but Blood Doping and stimulants are and have been used extensively. Many pro riders have been caught but the doping was so widespread and endemic that the entire sport was in real danger of dying. And good riddance it would have been. Riders have been banned and teams have dissolved, doctors have been stripped of professional credentials, some have done time for smuggling. It even seems pretty clear now that Lance Armstrong was doping and that is a real kick in the nuts to fans like myself.
Lu and I started watching the Tour in 2001. We watched as Armstrong won and continued to win. 7 Tours in all. It was always apparent who the strong men were and there were damn few of them. Compared to those few the rest of the peleton looked pretty average. In succeeding years the script was the same. Two, or at the most three, riders were light years ahead of the rest (think men against boys) until one would kick in the next gear and simply blow the competition away. The winner most always seemed to win fairly easily (for certain values of easy).
Of course we now know that their competitive edge came from a syringe and a transfusion bottle rather than being honestly won. I got disinterested fairly quickly. The various anti doping agencies, both in Europe and here in America, were pretty ineffectual but then the systematic doping with doctors and experts involved made any detection chancy at best. There is now a new system in place called Blood Profile or Biological Profile. It's based not on a failed drug test or a criminal investigation but rather on telltale changes in the blood that signal the use of performance enhancers. There is no way to be certain but anecdotaly it seems to be working.
This years Tour is like no other I have watched. Everyone seems to be on an even level. The current leader, a man who should have had absolutely zero chance of winning, is a Frenchman named Thomas Voeckler. He's a good rider but not in the same league as those past, enhanced, winners. Yet this year he leads by almost two minutes after stage 16 of 21. The big names are down, some way down, in the standings. My pick, Cadel Evans, is an Aussie who I am confidant has been racing clean for years. He's in second and, if reports are to be believed, in "incredible"physical shape. That means his performance edge is coming from his body and training and not from a moral shortcut. The rest of the peloton, the mass of riders who make up the body of the race, are taking turns racing heads up against the big names and are more than holding their own. The racing is close, intense and sometimes violent. There's been more crashes, and more injuries, than I can ever remember seeing. Such conditions are indicative of racers who are evenly matched and trying for every advantage on the road that they can get. Heck a sprinter, Thor Hushovd from Norway, has won two mountain stages. A feat previously unheard of. Jonathon Vaughters put together the Garmin-Cervelo team, derived from the old Slipstream-Chipotle team, expressly to show that clean riding was not only possible but clean riders could win at the very highest levels of the sport. In a case of great minds think alike, Vaughters agrees with my assessment.
We're seeing riders and teams choosing not to dope. It may be because of the fear of getting caught (along with the literal millions of dollars at stake). It may be an attempt to emulate Vaughters. It may be because the participants realize just how close they came to losing their sport. Or it may be that the riders are finally just plain wising up.
Whatever the case I'm watching this years race with renewed enthusiasm and excitement. I want an unexpected winner. I want those domestiques, the nameless faceless drones shepherding the name riders, to win and place high. I want to be amazed by the sheer guts and determination of a Frenchman riding for glory and honor, hanging on to the yellow jersey with his teeth and his nails and his courage. I want people to know my sport is clean and to be awed by the things these men can do from the saddle of a bicycle.
I have admitted many times that I am a man of deep emotions. A man who can be easily moved by demonstrations of human exceptionalism. I make no apologies. Anyone who cannot be moved by courage and effort and overcoming long odds is missing out on a wonderful experience.
Finally, I can watch and cheer and be completely and wonderfully ignorant of the final outcome. And that is a very good thing for those of us who love bicycle racing and the men and women who abuse their bodies in search of fleeting and elusive glory.
Viva le Tour!
Six
I found out a few years ago that I also like to watch competitive riding, including the Tour de France. The problem is that professional bike riders are synonymous with performance enhancing drugs. The drug of choice is EPO but Blood Doping and stimulants are and have been used extensively. Many pro riders have been caught but the doping was so widespread and endemic that the entire sport was in real danger of dying. And good riddance it would have been. Riders have been banned and teams have dissolved, doctors have been stripped of professional credentials, some have done time for smuggling. It even seems pretty clear now that Lance Armstrong was doping and that is a real kick in the nuts to fans like myself.
Lu and I started watching the Tour in 2001. We watched as Armstrong won and continued to win. 7 Tours in all. It was always apparent who the strong men were and there were damn few of them. Compared to those few the rest of the peleton looked pretty average. In succeeding years the script was the same. Two, or at the most three, riders were light years ahead of the rest (think men against boys) until one would kick in the next gear and simply blow the competition away. The winner most always seemed to win fairly easily (for certain values of easy).
Of course we now know that their competitive edge came from a syringe and a transfusion bottle rather than being honestly won. I got disinterested fairly quickly. The various anti doping agencies, both in Europe and here in America, were pretty ineffectual but then the systematic doping with doctors and experts involved made any detection chancy at best. There is now a new system in place called Blood Profile or Biological Profile. It's based not on a failed drug test or a criminal investigation but rather on telltale changes in the blood that signal the use of performance enhancers. There is no way to be certain but anecdotaly it seems to be working.
This years Tour is like no other I have watched. Everyone seems to be on an even level. The current leader, a man who should have had absolutely zero chance of winning, is a Frenchman named Thomas Voeckler. He's a good rider but not in the same league as those past, enhanced, winners. Yet this year he leads by almost two minutes after stage 16 of 21. The big names are down, some way down, in the standings. My pick, Cadel Evans, is an Aussie who I am confidant has been racing clean for years. He's in second and, if reports are to be believed, in "incredible"physical shape. That means his performance edge is coming from his body and training and not from a moral shortcut. The rest of the peloton, the mass of riders who make up the body of the race, are taking turns racing heads up against the big names and are more than holding their own. The racing is close, intense and sometimes violent. There's been more crashes, and more injuries, than I can ever remember seeing. Such conditions are indicative of racers who are evenly matched and trying for every advantage on the road that they can get. Heck a sprinter, Thor Hushovd from Norway, has won two mountain stages. A feat previously unheard of. Jonathon Vaughters put together the Garmin-Cervelo team, derived from the old Slipstream-Chipotle team, expressly to show that clean riding was not only possible but clean riders could win at the very highest levels of the sport. In a case of great minds think alike, Vaughters agrees with my assessment.
We're seeing riders and teams choosing not to dope. It may be because of the fear of getting caught (along with the literal millions of dollars at stake). It may be an attempt to emulate Vaughters. It may be because the participants realize just how close they came to losing their sport. Or it may be that the riders are finally just plain wising up.
Whatever the case I'm watching this years race with renewed enthusiasm and excitement. I want an unexpected winner. I want those domestiques, the nameless faceless drones shepherding the name riders, to win and place high. I want to be amazed by the sheer guts and determination of a Frenchman riding for glory and honor, hanging on to the yellow jersey with his teeth and his nails and his courage. I want people to know my sport is clean and to be awed by the things these men can do from the saddle of a bicycle.
I have admitted many times that I am a man of deep emotions. A man who can be easily moved by demonstrations of human exceptionalism. I make no apologies. Anyone who cannot be moved by courage and effort and overcoming long odds is missing out on a wonderful experience.
Finally, I can watch and cheer and be completely and wonderfully ignorant of the final outcome. And that is a very good thing for those of us who love bicycle racing and the men and women who abuse their bodies in search of fleeting and elusive glory.
Viva le Tour!
Six
04 June 2011
Triathlon To The Power Of Ten
I posted about this event yesterday morning. It's a triathlon with a twist; 100,000 pounds lifted, 10K run and 100 miles on a bicycle, all without leaving the comfort of my home gym. I wandered around the house, thinking about it and playing it out in my mind. Shortly after 2:00 I decided heck with this. I gathered up Lu and headed out to the gym to get things rolling.
A partial view of the gym with the bicycle already hooked up to the rollers. That's the official 100 Miles Of Nowhere plate on the bike. The whole thing was done in my humble home gym out behind my house. The gym equipment for lifting, the run on a treadmill and the bike on rollers. Never left the gym except once to use the facilities which were in my own house. How cool is that?
2:30 PM and the official start.
The scoreboard, depressingly free of completed disciplines.
Lifting was up first. As the Big Board attests I did 7 exercises. The totals went like this.
Bench Press - 100 reps @ 185 pounds = 18,500
Barbell Curl - 100 reps @ 70 pounds = 7,000
Dips - 100 reps @ 245 pounds = 24,500
Rows - 100 reps @ 185 pounds = 18,500
Overhead Extensions - 100 reps @ 100 pounds = 10,000
Shoulder Raises - 100 reps @ 55 pounds - 5,500
Deadlifts - 60 reps @ 200 pounds = 12,000
Squats - 20 reps @ 200 pounds = 4,000
If my math is correct that's 100,000 pounds in 680 repetitions for a 147 pound average lift. The first time I did 100,000 pounds training for this it took me 1250 reps. I started to do squats, intending to do 100 reps but at rep number 10 felt a twinge in my right knee. On the second set of 10 it went from a twinge to a full blown owie and squats were out and maybe the entire triathlon. I switched to deadlifts and managed 60 reps before the pain became too great. I added some weight and reps to shoulder raises (I was only planning on doing 60 at 50 pounds) and made up the weight.
Take a look at that face. It was about this time that I recognized there might be a problem and was considering how to continue.
Here's Lu loading plates. She spent the day and night setting up, bringing me food and drinks and just generally coaching and cheer leading. Not to mention the recovery massages. Love that woman.
Here's the what the final board looked like. Not exactly according to the plan but done.
With lifting done it was to event number 2. I was planning on biking at this point but Lu convinced me that my arms were so pumped that supporting myself on the bike might be problematic so the 10K was next.
The problem knee. It kept me from running the pace I wanted but held together long enough to finish. I did no better than a fast walk and a light jog but I finished every step.
6.2 miles aka 10 Kilometers. The time was disappointing but I finished.
The mid way meal complete with a smile and a thumbs up. Mac and Cheese with bacon bits (because everything is better with bacon), whole wheat bread and a glass of milk. I went through about a gallon of water, a half gallon of Gatorade and a tall milk. Yes, that is indeed a drill press behind me. Don't ask.
Ok. On to the bike. My arms were still pumped but I considered this the easiest part of the whole deal. Hey, we're all wrong from time to time. Right?
The obligatory Zero miles shot.
I was going to do the whole ride in my official Team Fatty Jersey but...
Fatty, I love you and Twin Six but by this point my arms were still so pumped the jersey was cutting off circulation to my hands. I went with something a little more...open.
Man, this is hard. In addition to a triathlon this was my first Century on the bike. I found myself looking down at the odometer thinking "I must almost be done by now. Come on, let me almost be done by now" only to discover I still had 75 miles to go. Oof. It was grind it out time so I put my head down and put in the miles.
The finale was most satisfying.
And just like that it was done! The clock on the wall said 11:26 PM.
The official time was kept by Lu on her official Ironman Timex
8:55:42. 8 hours, 55 minutes, 42 seconds.
The final Big Board.
I wanted to do this event for a couple of reasons.
First to support Team Fatty and all his good works and do my part in The Fight.
Second to prove to myself that I could do it.
Finally, and most importantly, to let my Mother know how I feel about her. Ma, I love you more than I could possibly say. I did this because you couldn't. It's my small way of honoring you, your life and your fight. Cancer may seperate us but you will ever be in my heart. Fight your fight and know I'll be beside you the whole way. And when your fight is done I will take it up as my own. That is my promise to you.
And so it is done. My legs feel like a bag of angry cats. Lu has been taking good care of me with plenty of Tylenol and leg massages. I've spent the day sleeping and eating anything and everything that gets near me. Now, as far as I can tell I'm the first to do this particular brand of triathlon. If so I believe that makes me the World Record Holder. If not I'm still the winner and record holder in the Male, 51.9 year old (I'll be 52 in a couple of weeks), Clydesdale, Hurricane Utah, Home Gym, Balding division. I declare myself satisfied. And hey, maybe someone else will step up next year and go for my title. Oh, almost forgot one thing. I started the tri at 245 pounds. After it was done I weighed myself again, thinking I'd see how much weight I'd lost. Kinda like the last chance workout on Biggest Loser. I weighed in at 247. I have to be the only guy in America who can do 9 hours of straight exercise and gain 2 pounds. Jillian would be so disappointed.
Thank you to all of you, my friends, for your support and encouragement. A big Thank You goes to Fatty. The fight goes on my friend but as long as people like you exist how can we possibly fail? Thanks for letting me participate and honor my Mother. I owe you.
Six
A partial view of the gym with the bicycle already hooked up to the rollers. That's the official 100 Miles Of Nowhere plate on the bike. The whole thing was done in my humble home gym out behind my house. The gym equipment for lifting, the run on a treadmill and the bike on rollers. Never left the gym except once to use the facilities which were in my own house. How cool is that?
Bench Press - 100 reps @ 185 pounds = 18,500
Barbell Curl - 100 reps @ 70 pounds = 7,000
Dips - 100 reps @ 245 pounds = 24,500
Rows - 100 reps @ 185 pounds = 18,500
Overhead Extensions - 100 reps @ 100 pounds = 10,000
Shoulder Raises - 100 reps @ 55 pounds - 5,500
Deadlifts - 60 reps @ 200 pounds = 12,000
Squats - 20 reps @ 200 pounds = 4,000
If my math is correct that's 100,000 pounds in 680 repetitions for a 147 pound average lift. The first time I did 100,000 pounds training for this it took me 1250 reps. I started to do squats, intending to do 100 reps but at rep number 10 felt a twinge in my right knee. On the second set of 10 it went from a twinge to a full blown owie and squats were out and maybe the entire triathlon. I switched to deadlifts and managed 60 reps before the pain became too great. I added some weight and reps to shoulder raises (I was only planning on doing 60 at 50 pounds) and made up the weight.
With lifting done it was to event number 2. I was planning on biking at this point but Lu convinced me that my arms were so pumped that supporting myself on the bike might be problematic so the 10K was next.
The mid way meal complete with a smile and a thumbs up. Mac and Cheese with bacon bits (because everything is better with bacon), whole wheat bread and a glass of milk. I went through about a gallon of water, a half gallon of Gatorade and a tall milk. Yes, that is indeed a drill press behind me. Don't ask.
Ok. On to the bike. My arms were still pumped but I considered this the easiest part of the whole deal. Hey, we're all wrong from time to time. Right?
The obligatory Zero miles shot.
And just like that it was done! The clock on the wall said 11:26 PM.
The final Big Board.
I wanted to do this event for a couple of reasons.
First to support Team Fatty and all his good works and do my part in The Fight.
Second to prove to myself that I could do it.
Finally, and most importantly, to let my Mother know how I feel about her. Ma, I love you more than I could possibly say. I did this because you couldn't. It's my small way of honoring you, your life and your fight. Cancer may seperate us but you will ever be in my heart. Fight your fight and know I'll be beside you the whole way. And when your fight is done I will take it up as my own. That is my promise to you.
And so it is done. My legs feel like a bag of angry cats. Lu has been taking good care of me with plenty of Tylenol and leg massages. I've spent the day sleeping and eating anything and everything that gets near me. Now, as far as I can tell I'm the first to do this particular brand of triathlon. If so I believe that makes me the World Record Holder. If not I'm still the winner and record holder in the Male, 51.9 year old (I'll be 52 in a couple of weeks), Clydesdale, Hurricane Utah, Home Gym, Balding division. I declare myself satisfied. And hey, maybe someone else will step up next year and go for my title. Oh, almost forgot one thing. I started the tri at 245 pounds. After it was done I weighed myself again, thinking I'd see how much weight I'd lost. Kinda like the last chance workout on Biggest Loser. I weighed in at 247. I have to be the only guy in America who can do 9 hours of straight exercise and gain 2 pounds. Jillian would be so disappointed.
Thank you to all of you, my friends, for your support and encouragement. A big Thank You goes to Fatty. The fight goes on my friend but as long as people like you exist how can we possibly fail? Thanks for letting me participate and honor my Mother. I owe you.
Six
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